chopped

drive-by readings

Dark Reign - The List: Punisher one shot (Marvel) "A Good Lie" Rick Remender John Romita Jr Klaus Janson Dean White Joe Caramagna

just when we thought Norman Osborn couldn't make good with anything with his list, he comes roaring back with a big win. yes, i know, the Internet is abuzz with this issue, and for good measure.

after failing to get the Punisher (yeah, its the insistent itch in your ass that gets you) via The Hood, Osborn takes command to hunt Frank down with all the might of H.A.M.M.E.R. behind him, and taking along Daken for good measure. we know among all the Marvel heroes, the Punisher was the most vulnerable, as he really doesn't have any powers. he's not Batman-class, but he's been smart enough to survive all these years. he even offed the whole Marvel Universe, if certain tomes are to be believed.

and for all his bravado and smarts, eventually the Reaper comes to collect and Frank has to pay. i guess i wasn't expecting it - or maybe i wasn't just reading the advance buzz. that's ok, i like it that way. surprise me, comics. once in a while.

and though i can find faults in the great JRJr's work, roping him and Janson in for this piece was genius. i thought i was reading a Kick-Ass issue! you know, with all that blood and gore. i've also been slowly taking into Rick Remender's work - not sure if he feels like Howard Chaykin at times but with more immediacy. and no, am not dissing Chaykin.

so where do we go from here? apparently, the next story arc involves something with the words "Franken-Castle". Halloween gimmick or no? by the way, how does the Man Thing (one of Marvel's best horror characters) get involved in this when he was divided in two by Ares recently? in what issue did he "volt back in"?

it's a time-honored tradition to break down heroes before building them up again. over the past few years, we've seen this happen to Captain America, Thor, Hawkeye (though just don't ask me how he got resurrected. just ... don't.), Scarlet Witch (no, don't ask me about her either), Iron Man (ongoing) and now Frank Castle, our beloved ass-kicking street vigilante playing way above his league. i just hope it doesn't turn out like last time, when he got deployed to fight demons. hoooooo boy.

so is he forgiven now?

c'mon, say "yes". this paves the way for the reunion of the Big Three in Siege. at least it's still gonna be Stark under the armor.

/yeah, its gonna be a Stark. Arno Stark. or Teen Tony. dun-dun-dun!!!

scene of the week

Omni-Man crashing in Allen the Alien's crib.






ohhh, i bet he wants to reconcile with Debbie so bad!!

-----
Invincible #67

why do I never see them!?!

TWO reasons to ride the New York City subway.



MTA, you better make sure this happens often, you money-grubbing jerks!!!

-----
Power Girl #6

you bite like a dog!

Krypto definitely not:
a) biting off more than he can chew
b) biting the hand that feeds him

-----
Blackest Night: Superman #3

two leaps forward, one leap back

drive-by readings

Dark Reign - The List: Hulk one shot (Marvel) Greg Pak Ben Oliver Veronica Gandini Simon Bowland

now we get to Norman Osborn's "neutralize Bruce Banner" item on his list. how does he fare this time? oooohhh looks like he won, kiddies. he thinks he's taking Banner off the board by (eventually) reverting him back to Hulk, and get whacked by his own son, Skaar. but the price of that may be unleashing the Hulk again, not just on the world, but on Osborn himself (that is, if Clint Barton doesn't get Osborn first. oh wait - that never happened).

Bruce walking around with Skaar kinda reminds me of the Banner/Hulk representation in Earth X (or the current Hercules/Amadeus Cho team up). and he's walking around with personal force fields, uber-hacker class PDAs, pocket teleporters, and "Bannertech nanoparticulates" (since when did he have his own brand?). even Nick Fury wasn't this hooked up! a year ago he was wrecking NYC, and now he's like Bill Gates crossed with Wil Wheaton with a weapon of mass destruction.

also to reference other books, in Hulk #602-603, Bruce hangs out with Skaar in the hopes of getting him straightened out, and at the same time get him some combat practice (like he needs it!). so when Skaar pops the Juggernaut into space, this necessitates a visit by the ol' Canucklehead, whom Skaar promptly slaps around. Bruce sets up a meeting with Daken and both sides get bruised and battered in the process and nothing seems to have been fixed on either side (both sons still want to kill their fathers at some point - such adorable children!). then in Wolverine Origins #41, Banner (working as night watchman - hah!!) crosses paths with Wolverine (again) in his quest to one-up Romulus. and it seems like Skaar doesn't even remember a single thing about Wolverine. somebody get their stories straight, as these books were all released right about the same time.

and now Victoria Hand is becoming a combat specialist too? what in the world?

you sure they're not shards of Mephisto's soul?

Veronica looks like Wanda, doesn't she?

welcome back, Mr. Reece.

drive-by readings

Dark Avengers #10 (Marvel) Brian Michael Bendis Mike Deodato Jr Rain Beredo Cory Petit

i asked a question, and Brian Michael Bendis answered. splendidoo. splendidooo!

first things first. lemme axe you summink: if you chop the Man Thing in two, will he eventually reintegrate himself? or will he do a Wolverine, grow his limbs back, and there'll be two Man Things at the end of the day? well, True Believer, you better find out, 'cause Mike Deodato just drew an awesome splash page of Ares doing just that. the Man Thing doesn't have any facial features that would show any emotion, but i swear to God even he was surprised at that development.

in as much as i loved the Thunderbolts in its early Busiek intended incarnation - bad guys pretending to be the good guys - i like the slant of the Dark Avengers much better in the sense that they're barely trying to project a clean image, they argue with and fight each other all the time, they're nasty, foul-mouthed and wouldn't hesitate abandoning their teammates - only Norman Osborn keeps them altogether. and barely apparently, as something is bothering him lately. yes, we anticipate the Goblin coming out (not that 'coming out') and melting down soon on national TV. oh heck, just search the Interwebz for the Siege and be done with it.

so back to Owen Reece, Molecule Man. he's been gone so long that the new generation of comic book readers don't even know who he is (that's what Wikipedia is for). and i can understand why Marvel put him in the freezer for a long time because he's practically God - the man went toe-to-toe against the freakin' Beyonder. even he was afraid of his own powers. it remains to be seen whether he's still that 'supervillain' with a tinge of ethical behavior, or he's finally lost it, and is now bent on taking over as well. do not let him be a joke, Bendis.

fist, meet mouth

Soranik Natu, matchmaker.

------
Green Lantern Corps #41

magn(animo)us

drive-by readings

Uncanny X-Men #516 (Marvel) "Nation X" Matt Fraction Greg Land Jay Leisten Justin Ponsor Joe Caramagna

the day i've been waiting for since Magneto took over the school for Xavier (that was a loooooong time ago) has arrived. well, kind of. Magneto waltzes in Utopia with an open hand, and Xavier, ever mistrustful (who wouldn't be), shoots first and ask questions later. good thing Scott has the cojones to shout the Prof down. we've come a long way from San Marco.

Scott has a full armada of X-Men - especially those that matter (resurrecting them would do that ... oh wait, where's Jeannie?). and now Magnus feels like he's 20?? holy Asteroid M! are we sure this isn't Joseph? we could be looking at a sly reboot of "X-Men vs Magneto" once again (i see the t-shirts: "Xavier was Right"). but that would negate this starting point, wouldn't it? hopefully Magneto and Xavier would work together this ti- hey! didn't they work together back in Genosha after M-Day or something? what the hell. and what's with the Mark Antony speech? sarcasm doesn't seem to suit you, Magnus.

putting all the mutants in one place, and with Magneto looking to join the gang, its a whole new ballgame for this title, and its something worth pursuing. not sure about Scott uniting every mutant, as Magneto says, because the Marauders are still out there. actually one of them's in a plane approaching Utopia, with a cargo of Predator Xs in the hold. fun times.

i'll leave you with this conversation they didn't put in the book.

Magnus: "Hey, Logan ... sorry for pulling out your adamantium that one time ..."
Logan: "Fuck off, Erik."

R.I.P. Joe Rosen [newsarama]

well, i didn't know that!!!

"you are a sorry excuse for a drill sergeant, Killowog!!!"


"that's why i call you Brillolog!!"



-----
Green Lantern Corps #41

Fury's 11

drive-by readings

Dark Reign - The List: Secret Warriors one shot (Marvel) "Leviathan" Jonathan Hickman Ed McGuinness Chris Sotomayor Dave Lanphear Tom Palmer McGuinness/Dexter Vines/John Rauch (cover)

should we still call them "Secret Warriors"? Nick Fury practically operates in the open these days (to the chagrin of Contessa LaFontaine), and he has two teams already at his disposal - his Warriors, and the reborn/reconstructed Howling Commandos. all he needs is a YouTube channel and a Twitter page.

so breaking in Avengers tower (with some help from Ares - what, is he another Fury plant, that kind of trick that beats us over our head with "hey-am-20-steps-ahead-of-everyone-else"? NO. we have to read Secret Warriors #9 on sale 10/28/2009. whooopeee.) and appearing in your current enemy's bedroom (creepy - why can't he just call? what if Norman had a date?), smacks of not-so-secret for me. and for what? to steal something under H.A.M.M.E.R.'s nose. that really paints that target on you, Nicky Boy.

and that something actually tells us that ... oh hey, is the Zodiac in this gig? and Nick is Gemini? oh yeah, he was, years back. 'cause his dead brother Jake was Scorpio. or is. i smell resurrection!!!!

by the way, Norman, a couple of things:

everyone seems to be penetrating the Tower these days ... change the goddamn locks. or go live on the moon.

let me just present your fandangled "list":
- neutralize Clint Barton
- eliminate Daredevil
- kill Namor
- kill Frank Castle
- kill Nick Fury
- neutralize Bruce Banner
- control the world
- kill Spider-Man

that's just 1 out of 8 so far (Barton, you hotheaded punk, you never change). Frank's probably smug he's on the list. i don't see Tony Stark in there. he's probably dead. or dumb as a rock.

only Santa has a list that works.

down to earth

drive-by readings

Astonishing X-Men #31 (Marvel) "Exogenetic, Part 1" Warren Ellis Phil Jimenez Andy Lanning Frank D'Armata Joe Caramagna Travis Charest/Justin Ponsor (variant cover)

Abby Brand, current Hank McCoy flame, leads a S.W.O.R.D. contingent in some kind of black ops mission, then evacuates as the Brood throws their op to shit and she's forced to crash land on Earth. S.W.O.R.D./US Space Command has no way to protect those West Coast bums from a fiery spaceship crash, so who they gonna call? The! X-Men!

apparently, the events here occur before the Osborn/X-Men spat, as they are still in the Marin Headlands. what else do we glean from this sequence of events?

- in such emergencies the US Space Command does not call the Avengers or Norman Osborn himself, they call the X-Men.
- apparently, Abby also managed to nudge her spacecraft enough to crash where friends are so they can rescue her (brilliant!!)
- despite the loss of Prof. X's money and Sh'iar tech, the X-Men still get neat toys (the X2, a Blackbird for a new generation, straight from "the most brilliant and unhinged scientific minds in Japan" - oh you mean those who cook up those hentai shit?)
- Cyclops stages the rescue operation because "no one else has a prayer". uh, doesn't S.W.O.R.D. work with H.A.M.M.E.R.? did they forget they have the Sentry? (apparently, he's off spacing out again and dreaming about a thousand exploding suns. or was that a million? oh look, dandelions!)
- Emma smugly teeps (yes, thank you, DnA!) Abby that "a day without doing something stupid isn't worth getting out of bed for." OH!! so that's the motivation of those Jackass dudes!!!
- is Storm divorced from T'Challa? why is she hanging around with her buddies, getting into pissing contests with Emma, whom even Hank wants to piss on? (whooaaa. bestiality. golden showers. slow down, buddy.)

exciting rescue comes to an end at Fisherman's Wharf, where they all have clam chowder thereafter. oh, and a supposed dead student reappears and morphs into some kind of organic zombie sentinel. wait, is this Necrosha yet?

this title has gone weird on me since Joss Whedon left (well, what can I do, its the one and only Warren Ellis!). maybe i just miss the clean art of John Cassaday. Phil Jimenez ain't no slouch, but look who's doing variant covers! its the guy who left me at the altar that was WildC.A.T.S. vol. 2. welcome back, Travis - do you still have it in you??

the Siege. perilous. [newsarama]

clunt!

how Falcon reacted when Captain America yelled at him: "You LIE!!"


really, Steve Englehart? "Clunt"?

-----
Captain America #185

get a room already!!

the new Apollo & Midnighter!


can you feeeeeeeeeeeeel the love tonight???

talk to the hand

drive-by readings

Daredevil #501 (Marvel) "The Devil's Hand" Andy Diggle Roberto Dela Torre Matt Hollingsworth Joe Caramagna Esad Ribic (cover)

as Batman might say, "hhhh." Daredevil's finally taken control of the Hand, with one little caveat - a sacrifice of the innocent. i can understand if he actually killed a baby. but Master Izo? really? that alcohol-swilling vice-indulging old prick? even Dakota North isn't innocent. and we all know, Stick (and Mr. Miyagi) notwithstanding, that old martial arts teachers are practically immortal. so who's fooling who here, Andy Diggle?

elsewhere, the Kingpin extends the lifespan of his longtime bootlicking gofer, Turk (oh the stories he could tell his kids!). but its all a ploy of course. everyone has got an agenda. not sure what Lady Bullseye's is though, throwing in with Wilson, even if she worked with Izo to maneuver DD into the position of Hand boss.

wow. the Hand being led by their former enemy, the American red/blonde-haired devil-may-care chick magnet hotshot lawyer. Kirigi must be rolling in his grave.

box office poison

Venom film "may get director soon" (Latino Review).

not sure how a Venom movie might work as a spinoff - yes, i know he headlined his own book back in the '90s, but that was the '90s. i doubt if Eddie Brock has a shelf life beyond making life miserable for Spider-Man (apparently not, as Eddie is now the Anti-Venom and got his head blown off by the Punisher). the report also says that Topher Grace may not reprise the role. which kinda makes sense if the character won't be Brock.

assuming Brock is out of the running, who's it gonna be? logic dictates it will be Mac Gargan, the Sinister Spider-Man. but that would only make sense in a Dark Reign kind of way. what possible story can they cook up with, using an evil character (who's origin was more or less delineated already in Spider-Man 3), that would really convince people to part with $10 and 2 hours of their time?

x marks the pool

drive-by readings

Deadpool #16 (Marvel) "Want You to Want Me: No Man is An Island" Daniel Way Paco Medina Juan Vlasco Marte Gracia Joe Sabino Jason Pearson (cover)

after being disappointed with Way's recent Wolverine Origins arc, i feel better with his Deadpool work. its kind of meandering, but i guess Deadpool shouldn't have any permanent affiliations - he's a mercenary for cryin' out loud. so why's he joining the X-Men again?

well, maybe that's because he has more in common with them - sort of. he's palled around with Cyclops' son. he dated Siryn for awhile (sort of). he's got history with them. still, Cyclops isn't convinced. until the suddenly smoking-hot (again) Dagger (thank Civil War for that) manages to convince them of the hypocrisy of turning Deadpool's application away. so off goes Domino to recruit him back. but not after pancake breakfast. sort of. hey, Domino gets to slap Cyclops. i'm surprised Emma didn't lobotomize her right there and then.

so first order of business. 'Pool is on probationary status. and he gets to wear the X logo. and he's going to kill Cessily's deadbeat father. the look on Cyclops' face was hilarious.

pinks and reds

drive-by readings

Batman & Robin #5 (DC) "Revenge of the Red Hood, Part Two: Scarlet" Grant Morrison Philip Tan Jonathan Glapion Alex Sinclair Patrick Brosseau Frank Quitely (variant cover)

now this is more like it. Gotham is about to explode (like when was it not in that state?) - from gang wars and vigilantes. this is the issue where the Red Hood and his new partner, Scarlet, humiliate the new Batman & Robin. is it really Jason Todd under that red bucket? he looks more like another DC character who's name escapes me (think ... red hair, white streak ... ahhh shit, when you get old ...).

my kudos to Grant Morrison for the Eduardo Flamingo character ("Buffalo Bill"?) ... a sicko who skins and eats people's faces ... and is the premiere assassin for a drug cartel, and doesn't shirk away from the color pink. whooooooooooooo! he's like the sixth Village person!

but what i wanna see is, how the Hood leaves the discombobulated duo (really? Bruce wouldn't be taken down like that, would he?) in a situation where they might not get away "...with their dignity intact." would they be in their wedgied underwear and masks only? were they left in compromising positions and TMZ paparazzo are on the way? i wanna know!!

with Alex Sinclair doing the colors, Philip Tan's artwork is getting its sea legs (still some Kubert in there though). let's see if that applies to this story arc and beyond.

San Francisco 49ers, SuperBowl XLIV champs!

Michael Crabtree ... is Wolverine?



... not to mention, Canadian ... and white? with mutton chops?

it makes sense!! the X-Men are just living off the Bay Area.

San Francisco, rejoice! the 49ers are now sure to hack and slash their way through the competition!!

i guess its been a while ...

... was it Selina? or Talia?

i mean, good Lord - look at those eyes! Bruce Wayne is practically salivating at the thought of having a female in his manse. as we all know, his playboy persona is a facade, and he really doesn't get any action!

anticipation and excitement are very, very weak words to describe Bruce's state of being.

before you say it's another one of his regular dates, let me present, Silver St. Cloud.


the name practically oozes sex. or porn. whatever. Batman has butterflies in his stomach. the Batman.

and she calls him "Deedee". WTF-?! is that a code word for something?

-----
Batman: The Widening Gyre #2

yippee ki-yay, M'F-er!

drive-by readings

Die Hard: Year One #1 (Boom!) Howard Chaykin Stephen Thompson Matthew Wilson Ed Dukeshire Dave Johnson Jock/John Paul Leon (variant covers)

well, well, well. i didn't know they were putting this out. as a fan of the Die Hard series, i feel that its best served on film, not on sequential art. but whatever. until the next movie comes out, this is aimed squarely at the ... well, die-hards.

here our intrepid hero John McClane starts life as rookie cop in mid-70s Big Bad Apple, emphasis on the bad, which today's generation wouldn't really know about. yes, kiddies in those days, you would not want to walk in Times Square, and no, there wasn't any Toys R Us then!

and that's as far as we go. this is primarily a set up issue. we have country bumpkin Rosie Haskell, trying to keep up with life in the big city, becoming a witness to a murder perpetrated by two corrupt cops (and before you say anything, only one of them is white). the vague reason being, the victim, Ira Lewis, wanted more money for something, and the two cops wouldn't budge. so as usual, events beyond his control will engulf McClane and be his first test of fire, honing the skills of getting out of sticky situations, skills that should serve him well in the future.

so that's how they broke up

ok, no jokes here. hmmm ... this reinforces my belief that no one will ever, ever, understand women. least of all the women themselves.

-----
Marvel Divas #3

HEY!!!!

what the hell, Blogger?? you limiting us to 10 labels/tags per post now?? how am i supposed to properly credit the 3rd, 4th and 5th inkers of a comic that ships so late because they can't finish it with the regular art team!?!?!

brand new ways to die

yeah - i mean, why not??

thanks to Bullseye's creativity (eat that, i-make-promises-i-can't-really-keep-so-my-wife-dumped-me Clint Barton!), we are treated to new methods of killing. they should make a History Channel documentary on this, or update it if they already had.

ever tried tossing Paris Hilton's poodle at someone? no? well, damn you better try it sometime. it could be fun.

next, we have Death by Corndogs!! don't tell the good folk at Nathan's and the Coney Island Boardwalk, or we'd have a massacre on our hands!

as for the comic, Brian Reed said it best: "What the Fuck is this Shit all about??"

-----
Sinister Spider-Man #4

hey - - - !

yeah, you. again.

former Spider-Man writers Tom DeFalco and Howard Mackie turn back the clock and beg for your forgiveness, and solicit your $24.00 so you can be enlightened as to what the Spider-Man Clone Saga should have been.

(so who's fault was it again that it turned out the way it did??)

no, seriously.

-----
Spider-Man: Clone Saga #1

showing the seeds

drive-by readings

Justice Society of America #31 (DC) "Old Blood, New Blood, Spilled Blood: Bad Seed, Part 3" Matthew Sturges Bill Willingham Jesus Merino Allen Passalaqua Rob Leigh

more mysteries, and the only thing that woke us up was ... oy! that would be telling. suffice it to say that the cockfight between Magog and Wildcat ended ... well, in an adult manner. ohhh, maturity! we're not sure yet why Stargirl is the target of the bad guys, and why this All-American (Wussy) Kid did what he did. there is a master villain waiting in the wings - and i sure hope to Kingdom Come it's not Amos Fortune, or Roulette. or the Key. wait, wrong Justice book. let me also just say Jess Merino draws an awesome Magog - who would not be scared stiff at the sight of this golden horned armored god? ok, moving along ...

unmellow yellow

drive-by readings

Green Lantern #46 (DC) "Feared" Geoff Johns Doug Mahnke Christian Alamy Tom Nguyen Randy Mayor Gabe Eltaeb Rob Leigh Hi-Fi Andy Kubert/Alex Sinclair (variant cover)

what's the best thing about this issue? the inevitable showdown between Sinestro and Mongul. and guess who wins!

Blackest Night, as an event, seems to be overburdened by its own hype. i mean the series itself is something worth following, but the nature of the whole thing demands it has to spill over to the DC Universe, inadvertently making it like DC's version of cough, cough, Marvel Zombies, with a twist. Blackest Night is inherently a Green Lantern story, but by encompassing all the major titles (incidentally, where's Blackest Night: Wonder Woman?), i have the feeling that it kind of overreached a bit.

of course you need to tell other stories that may be tangential to or build something toward the main storyline. here we have the beginning of the melding of colors - Green Lantern, Sinestro, Star Sapphire and Indigo-1. Blue should not be a problem, but Red (Anger) and Orange (Avarice) may need a little more prodding to play ball. along the way, Hal Jordan, all coiffed up and ready to fight, has time to flirt as well (hel-lo, Carol!). hey, perks of the hazardous job. the Indigo Lantern said it best (referring to our flyboy): "Despite what the Zamarons preach, love cannot conquer all - you are a living example of that." of course, he is. he's the one who has one night stands with like half of the Birds of Prey.

next issue promises to be more of relationship exploration, as more dead friends come back to life. Arin Sur? who's Arin Sur? exactly. you sly Sinestro, you.