The Thanos Imperative #2 (Marvel)
Dan Abnett/Andy Lanning/Miguel Sepulveda/Jay David Ramos/Joe Caramagna (cover: Aleksi Briclot)
what we learned: this whole Cancerverse War became officially big time with the addition of Galactus and the Celestials. however, for some reason, Ben Urich is not covering this conflict. boooooo!!!
oh shit moment: Guardians kicking some faux Defender butt, and Thanos permanently ending the faux Defender butt.
what's next: why are Major Victory and Namorita anomalies? were they secretly resurrected with a White Lantern? will Thanos gain the upperhand after all is said and done? and will Urich make it to the front lines before this series ends??
the Thanos Halogen Headlight Upgrade Imperative
Tom Strong & The Robots of Doom #2 (ABC)
Peter Hogan/Chris Sprouse/Karl Story/Todd Klein/Darlene Royer
what we learned: mostly the backstory of how his Nazi son Albrecht brought about the Fascist world victory, and where the Dero really came from. looks like the situation is bleak. but wait! somehow Tom's faithful robot butler overrode his reprogramming and sends him back in time to fetch his younger self and play as the Tom/Tom Club! (yeeeessh, did you pay Chris Franz and Tina Weymouth their royalties?)
oh shit moment: the Dero apparently wiped out the African population. they must've been programmed by white people.
what's next: Tom/Tom Club playing at a venue near you this summer!
Justice League: Generation Lost #5 (DC)
Judd Winick/Keith Giffen/Aaron Lopresti/Matt Ryan/Hi-Fi/Steve Wands (cover: Tony Harris/JD Mettler, variant: Kevin Maguire/Hi-Fi)
what we learned: Max Lord really wants to reform the Justice League International. and the new Rocket Red is a gas. somehow a sombre Booster Gold is not the overinflated jerk i remember.
oh shit moment: not much, unless you count Max comparing himself to God. ya believe this guy?
what's next: is there a foreshadowing here that Blue Beetle is going to die, and Ted Kord is going to be resurrected? nah, that's just fanboy rumor-mongering.
because the world needs more Giffen/DeMatteis/Maguire JLI madness and mirth, that's why!
X-Force: Sex & Violence #1 (Marvel)
Craig Kyle/Christopher Yost/Gabrielle Dell'Otto/Cory Petit
what we learned: apparently, Kyle and Yost wanted to explore more of Neena and Logan's relationship (wait, didn't he have a girlfriend or that one died too?) since that X-Men 2001 Annual and that spiffy X-Force cover (whoa, Mike Choi!). and it might not pass editiorial muster, if it just said "Logan/Domino: Sex". because as we know, Americans are horrified by sex in mass media, but violence? bring it on!!! so, here we have Domino on the run from the Assassins Guild, because as a mercenary with scruples, you get dragged into the wrong crowd who hired you, then turn the tables on them.
oh shit moment: art's a bit murky but that's a great visual complement to the clanging sounds you hear in your head seeing Domino pulling bullets out of herself.
what's next: more sex! more violence!
yeah, Josh ... talk to the effing Hand!
Iron Man #28 (Marvel)
Matt Fraction/Salvador Larroca/Frank D'Armata/Joe Caramagna
who got chumped by Hammer? Tony Stark! who doesn't remember his one-night stands? Tony Stark! who's gonna build an non-gas powered car in six weeks? Tony Stark!!
Avengers Academy #2 (Marvel)
Christos N. Gage/Mike McKone/Jeromy Cox/Joe Caramagna
what we learned: so the next generation of Avengers could potentially be the next gen of bad guys? of course! but the drama between the students don't compare to the crap that goes on with the teachers. i mean you got noted wife-slapper-cum-Skrull/robot-banging-Scientist-Supreme Hank Pym as headmaster, what else is gonna happen? well, they're at least updated somewhat with pop music. or whatever passes for that these days.
oh shit moment: borrowing a trick from Josh Whedon's Astonishing X-Men, the new class is subjected to an impromptu survival session. just when Finesse and Reptil were about to kiss. dammit, man!
what's next: not only does Pietro get away with his shit, he's likely going to pass on his life lessons to a volunteer. wonderful!
Batgirl #12 (DC)
Bryan Q. Miller/Lee Garbett/Pere Perez/Walden Wong/Guy Major/John J. Hill (cover: ArtGerm)
what we learned: Batgirl aces her final exams, rescues her mentor, and turns a friend away from the dark side. even if they cancel this book, she's too good a character to be killed off. you hear that, DC Editorial??
oh shit moment: can i say its that awesome cover by ArtGerm? i never looked at Stephanie Brown this way before. and at the same time, she's slapping me upside the head for looking this way.
what's next: Oracle has a Proxy, and a capable successor.
i think she's describing how she's going to be expelled from school because one too many missed homework.
Batman #701 (DC)
Grant Morrison/Tony Daniel/Ian Hannin/Jared K. Fletcher
what we learned: what really happened between Batman R.I.P. and the ending of Final Crisis? the God of Comics finally deigns us dust bunnies worthy of knowing. but then again the first of a two-parter doesn't provide much except there's a definite connection between the Hidden Room in the Wayne Manor and whatever Dick Grayson unearthed in the past issues of Batman & Robin regarding the Wayne family line. also, who knew Bruce liked mulligatawny soup?
oh shit moment: deleting pictures of our exes just like everyone else. though i assume there's a backup somewhere. hwahahahaa!
what's next: was it really Thomas Wayne who engineered sending Bruce back through time? man, Morrison not only thinks one step ahead, he thinks one thousand steps ahead.
"and you beat it out of the Soup Nazi just like i like? awesooooome!!!!"
Vengeance of the Moon Knight #10 (Marvel)
Gregg Hurwitz/Juan Jose Ryp/Andres Mossa/Joe Caramagna (cover: Francesco Mattina)
look who's playing well with others. but you know, Steve, you still better keep a close eye on this Moon Knight character.
Hack/Slash: My First Maniac #1 (Image)
Tim Seeley/Daniel Leister/Mark Englebert/Crank! (covers: Seeley/Nei Ruffino/Erik Jones)
what we learned: additional backstory for stabby heroine Cassie Hack, whose long-awaited film debut is still long-awaited. here she's trying to fit into a high school but tracking a long-dead farmer who kills kids that won't git off his farm.
oh shit moment: slasher stories/movies practically write themselves, but you gotta surprise the viewer. this one involves barbed wire.
what's next: this is pre-Vlad, so it'll Cassie doing her lone wolf thing. am sure her newfound 'friends' will end up dead by the end of this.
huhhh-huhhh ... he said 'bone'. huhhh-huhh.
Daredevil #508 (Marvel)
Andy Diggle/Antony Johnston/Roberto De La Torre/Matt Hollingsworth/Joe Caramagna (cover: John Cassaday/Laura Martin)
what we learned: the White Tiger is slowly pushing "Lord" Daredevil into doing the bidding of the Snakeroot, and at the same time, endangering his former friends. also, i'm in the minority here, and i love John Cassaday, but i don't think he fits into doing Shadowland covers. grim and gritty is not just his style.
oh shit moment: the real moment was in Shadownland #1 with the apparent death of Bullseye. here we get the requisite Elektra appearance. who's next, Stick? by the way, where is Bullseye's body? the Hand always resurrects a potential asset.
what's next: Ben Affleck vs. Jennifer Garner!
it means, your movie sucked! you need a reboot!!
Superman #701 (DC)
J. Michael Straczynski/Eddy Barrows/JP Mayer/Rod Reis/John J. Hill (covers: John Cassaday/David Baron/Alex Sinclair)
Superman walks across America and goes to toe to toe with ... Joe Q. Public. its an interesting premise, right on the heels of the Kryptonian War and Superman questioning his role again in his adopted planet. the fact that he even deigns to do so, earns him a lot more of Lex Luthor hate points.
note: because of Blogger's technically-limited tag constraints, there's a bunch of other books that's going to show up in other posts. actually, maybe i should start making individual posts for the Weekly Hits. which means, this is going to be last time i'm putting everything in a basket. thanks, Blogger.