Sea Bear & Grizzly Shark (Image)
Ryan Ottley/Jason Howard/Cliff Rathburn
what we learned: a Sea Bear. a Grizzly Shark. eating people anywhere. that's all you need to know.
oh shit moment: just imagine any moment you could be doing your own thing, then suddenly you're wondering why your head is at ground level and the rest of your body's just ... gone.
what's next: really? you want this to be an ongoing? well ....
Batman: Streets of Gotham #13 (DC)
Paul Dini/Dustin Nguyen/Derek Fridolfs/John Kalisz/Sal Cipriano
what we learned: the Carpenter turns the tables on the Director just in time for Batman to clean up. despite the cheesy dialogue because of the nature of the story, its entertaining. by the way, how does everyone manage to show up at the right time for the board meetings to remind Thomas Eliott of his place?
oh shit moment: nothing much to shit your pants about. although Jenna Duffy has been warned off by Bats, she can't resist the lure of the job of assembling for dangerous people (which means that hauling supercriminals off to jail never works).
what's next: what is Hush up to?
Hulk #23 (Marvel)
Jeph Loeb/Ed McGuiness/Mark Farmer/Morry Hollowell/Richard Starkings/Herb Trimpe/Dave McCaig/Tim Sale/Dave Stewart/Dale Keown/Sal Buscema/Brad Anderson/Ian Churchill/Edgar Delgado/Leinil Yu/Gerry Alanguilan/Marte Gracia/John Romita Jr./Klaus Janson/Emily Warren/Dean White/Jason Keith/Mike Deodato/Rain Beredo (variant cover: Adam Kubert/Laura Martin)
man, i'm tired typing all those credits, but its the only way to give those nods as Blogger's 200 character limit for tags (booooo!) kinda put a damper on the party, and it was a rocking one.
Green Arrow #1 (DC)
J.T. Krul/Diogenes Neves/Vicente Cifuentes/Ulises Arreola/Rob Leigh (covers: Mauro Cascioli, Ethan Van Sciver/Hi-Fi)
what we learned: despite him being kicked out of Star City, Ollie Queen can't help himself and still hangs around. and conveniently a "magical" forest has sprung around the city, giving him cachet to play a man in tights. oh, someone offed his best friend Nunocerda. now Ollie has to throw away his special Nunocerda arrow.
oh shit moment: uh, Ollie stealing food from the rich to give to the poor? yeah. or his stepmom takes his company back.
what's next: team up with his pal Hal and beat up some rent-a-soldiers.
"well ... uh ... actually this is my BDSM outfit. heh."
X-Men Legacy #237 (Marvel)
Mike Carey/Greg Land/Jay Leisten/Justin Ponsor/Cory Petit (cover: Adi Granov)
what we learned: aren't you glad they resurrected Doug Ramsey? and they say diplomatic and linguistic skills are useless in battle. suspiciously, Colossus' broken arm is not shown at all.
oh shit moment: two for me: Magneto bleeding for the X-Men once again in a very long time, and Hope having the balls to threaten the de facto leader of an endangered species. really.
what's next: bring on Bastion!!! (i wonder if Scott Lobdell or Pascual Ferry is reading this crossover?)
see, if only Jean was that frisky ...
Fantastic Four #580 (Marvel)
Jonathan Hickman/Neil Edwards/Andrew Currie/Paul Mounts/Rus Wooton (cover: Alan Davis/Mark Farmer/Javier Rodriguez)
what we learned: Toys R Us is actually a front for Arcade (no longer a premiere X-villain) and the Impossible Man is an NYC gadabout with a semblance of social responsibility (you mean to say no one mistakes him for a Skrull?). much more interesting is Reed's Future Foundation, where a disparate young cast of characters is mentored by Mr. Fantastic to generate ideas for the betterment of mankind. no, not the wrestler.
oh shit moment: the Future Foundation's first project: to cure Ben Grimm! ok, not a total cure, but its a start. the Thing's inability to become human and the subsequent frustration of trying to be normal is a Marvel tradition. Jonathan Hickman, just like Ed Brubaker and that Bucky thing before him, is poised to upend the apple cart.
what's next: don't call him Rocky no more! no, seriously, please let this not be a dead end. Ben needs this as much as we fans do.
Avengers #2 (Marvel)
Brian Michael Bendis/John Romita Jr./Klaus Janson/Dean White/Cory Petit
to get to the future, they need a binoculars. then a ride. so they ask Space Ghost Penis to help. then (less than) Wonder Man shows up angry, disappears. then some Horsemen show up, also angry. next issue, they fight.
Secret Warriors #17 (Marvel)
Jonathan Hickman/Alessandro Vitti/Imaginary Friends Studio/Dave Lanphear (cover: Jim Cheung/Mark Morales/Justin Ponsor)
what we learned: smelling blood in the water, Nick Fury unleashes all his teams on the warring Hydra and Leviathan. the narrative though is post-event, as Dum Dum and Jasper Sitwell are grilled in a secret meeting convened by the UN Security Council. oh, and there's a party and Steve Rogers feels like a 20 year old man again.
oh shit moment: Howling Commandos silenced forevermore?
what's next: Howling Commandos silenced forevermore?
Thunderbolts #145 (Marvel)
Jeff Parker/Kev Walker/Frank Martin/Albert Deschesne
i commend Luke Cage for taking the task of running Marvel's rehab program and facing threats with a bunch of guys who might just stab him in the back, front, side or wherever they please. nanites or no nanites, something bad's gonna happen.
Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne (Marvel)
Grant Morrison/Yanick Paquette/Michel Lacombe/Nathan Fairbairn/Jared Fletcher (covers: Andy Kubert/Yanick Paquette)
what we learned: some people might scoff at at the whole Final Crisis/Batman RIP thing as poorly-conceived non-permanent-event ripoff. that may be so, but it allowed us to have Batman & Robin and the Return of Bruce Wayne. in his trek back from the past, Bruce gets involved with Blackbeard the Pirate and upholds his legacy as the Man of Bats in the most amazing way.
oh shit moment: a dazed Bruce takes the cape and takes on the buccaneers with the Bat People. whooooooooo!
what's next: Jonah Hex! Cowboy Batman! yeeeeeee-haaaaaaaaaawww!
Wolverine: Weapon X #14 (Marvel)
Jason Aaron/Ron Garney/Jason Keith/Matt Milla/Cory Petit (cover: Garney/Morry Hollowell)
what we learned: this Deathlok is a murderer revived as a killing machine (what's new?). but there's a conscience there somehow.
oh shit moment: the future human resistance decides to go after the civilian identities of the Deathloks in the past - while they're still kids.
what's next: Peace, 'Lok!!
Joker's Asylum: Killer Croc (DC)
Mike Raicht/David Yardin/Cliff Richards/Rodney Ramos/Jose Villarubia/Patrick Brosseau (cover: Francesco Mattina)
what we learned: despite the fear you have for Killer Croc as he chased you down the sewer tunnels of Arkham Asylum, there are bigger and viler beasts among men that you need to be more afraid of. and oh, did Francesco Mattina switch to DC already?
oh shit moment: we knew were it was going but the betrayal was painful nonetheless.
what's next: i think i need to check out the other Joker's Asylum titles i missed.
Power Girl #13 (DC)
Judd Winick/Sami Basri/Sunny Gho/John J. Hill
i know y'all miss Amanda Conner, but you should give this Basri guy a chance. and a serious story for a change.
Green Lantern Corps #49 (DC)
Tony Bedard/Ardian Syaf/Vicente Cifuentes/Randy Mayor/Gabe Eltaeb/Steve Wands (cover: Syaf/Cifuentes/Ulises Arreola, variant: Patrick Gleason/John Dell/Mayor)
what we learned: the rebellious Alpha Lanterns' recruitment drive is in full swing and it may have added Jon Stewart. opps, i meant John Stewart. dumb keyboard.
oh shit moment: who's behind all this nonsense? no, not Tony Bedard! its the i-wanna-die-but-i-cant Cyborg Superman! paging Dr. Kevorkian!
what's next: paging Dr. Kevorkian!