whatchu gonna do ...

... when HULKAMANIA runs wild over you???

yep, i never got to put a post on Planet Hulk, and here we are, post-NYComic Con (never got to post that either, but maybe later), Planet Hulk is done, and Holku is on the horizon, coming back to put the hurt on his so-called friends.

To recap for the uninitiated, the Marvel Illuminati - Iron Man, Reed Richards (Mr. Fan-taaaas-tic!), Dr. Stephen Strange, Prof. Charles Xavier, Prince Namor, and Black Bolt, leader of the Inhumans - banded together to regulate the superheroes. that seemed a good idea at that time - until the Superhero Registration Act and Civil War blew everything apart. Black Panther (King T'Challa) would have been the seventh member of the Illuminati, but he had a more practical and pragmatic worldview. this eventually put him at odds with the Pro-Registration forces headed by Stark and Richards.

which brings us to the Hulk. after another rampage in Las Vegas, the Illuminati decided to end the threat of the Hulk once and for all. lured into a spacecraft, he was launched to outerspace in the hope that he never comes back (well, they tried to cover all bases for that possibility). with friends like that, who needs the Abomination, the Leader or General Thunderbolt Ross?

well, as they say, the best laid plans ... always go to the shitter. here's the Hulk dishing out payback to Stretcho and the Doc.

ok, that was just a figment of his imagination. Hulk's spaceship crashlands in a planet other than the Illuminati intended for it to. in a yearlong epic storyline (thus called Planet Hulk), while the superheroes were at each other's throats back on Earth, the Hulk - intelligent, Bruce Banner-less, and growing stronger every second - eventually rises from a lowly gladiator to ruler of Sakaar (not to mention banging a warrior babe and getting her preggers). just when he thought he got his Christmas wish (love, peace, happiness, the whole 9), the spaceship that brought him to Sakaar explodes (wow, shades of Stamford) and the Hulk is left with nothing except his anger. and his alien comrades in the Warbound.

so what to do ... what to do ... ?

"screw it! Hulk will smash those puny humans! and Hulk has no intention of losing!"

back on Earth, Hulk's cuz Jen Walters (a.k.a. She Hulk) learns of the deception (so all this time she never bothered to look for Bruce) and it righteously pisses her off.

question: if Tony Stark didn't use protection when he shagged Jen, would she get some Extremis in her bloodstream and cellular structure? if so, what would the effects be?


and so Earth-bound goes the Hulk and his (amazing) friends. at least we could consider them his friends, because they even try to put him through anger management classes and plot strategy with him. below is a brainstorming session on how to deal with "blagbult":

does this mean blagbult, er ... Black Bolt will be the first casualty of Big Green Revenge Machine? well, he should end up with a torn larynx at the least.

well, it should be quite an interesting summer - good luck if Marvel lets us off easy. i can hear the cash registers ringing and Joe Quesada prancing at the Park Avenue offices.

with that, all i can say is:

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World War Hulk Preview
World War Hulk Prologue: World Breaker