 | with covers by Chris Bachalo and Greg Horn, how could i resist? then i puked. seriously, it had a nice premise: superhero does good, runs into problems, then loses his core and soul? will he find his inner gravitas to rise above? sometimes, yes, sometimes, no. and the answer to that question defines whether you are a hero or not. the use of multiple art styles is a pleasant diversion, because the flashbacks look better than the current events. this whole thing is, in a nutshell, is the story of Spider-Man. except Webhead will go on forever while the title character, Flare, doesn't. oops, did i give the ending away? |
| MELTDOWN #1-2 David Schwartz, Sean Wang, Guru e-FX covers by Chris Bachalo/Greg Horn | |
 secret lovers, yeah, that's what we are | |
 | Red Sonja continues the fight for female empowerment, with even just her myth and a mask sufficient to allow a mistreated housewife of a brothel owner to rise up and free the other hos - excuse me, 'wenches' - in said reputable establishment. this is both good news and bad news for the Cho Seung Huis of the world. good news is that the downtrodden he allegedly represents stood up against the bullies. the bad news is such women would have no compunction (and would be well within their rights) kicking him in the balls if he starts stalking them. you know, for not being ready for that jelly. |
| RED SONJA Annual #1 Michael Avon Oeming, Stephen Sadowski | |
 "i already told you - don't ever call me a nappy-headed ho!" | |
 | credit a man for sticking with what he likes to do best. after championing and writing She-Hulk for the past few years, Happiest Man on Earth Dan Slott is reaping the rewards - better sales, better name recog and more high profile gigs (Avengers: The Initiative). and he's still writing She-Hulk and its still interesting an funny (though Kirkman's Ant-Man is closing in). Jennifer took a break from her legal duties to fill in for her missing cousin (due back oh, next month?) and beating up all his enemies (with S.H.I.E.L.D. help, of course). Slott doesn't skimp on the details and has an unerring eye for characterization. next up: what happens when Jen finds out the guy she just slept with sent her cousin to outer space to die? |
| SHE HULK #17 Dan Slott, Rick Burchett, Cliff Rathburn | |
 Q. who has Tony Stark NOT slept with??? A. Bruce Banner? | |
 | ok, let's hear DC Veep and Man Around Town Dan DiDio say it: "there wasn't enough space in 52 to tell this story ...", so yeah, we get a 4-issue slugfest on top of the regular series. i mean its 4 issues of Black Adam taking on the whole DC Universe (minus the Big Three, who're still M.I.A. as of this story). 52 was a stroke of genius, to build crossover upon crossover (just like Marvel's doing with Civil War and WWHulk), but WWIII is hurt by the "various artists" approach - i would have preferred one guy doing it (Rags? Phil? anyone?), which leads me to believe that they never anticipated this back when they started 52. cough up your $10. |
| WORLD WAR III #1-4 Keith Champagne, Pat Oliffe, Drew Geraci, Andy Smith, Ray Snyder John Ostrander, Tom Derenick, Norm Rapmund, Jack Jadson, Rodney Ramos | |
 World War Hulk was over before it even began | |
 | since Marvel hasn't killed off most of its second-rate characters yet, here's another chance to do so. its the reverse-Thunderbolts: former superheroes, trying to avoid putting on the costume (they should! unless they've registered!) but failing miserably. spinning off Brian Vaughan's acclaimed Runaways (but those were new characters), The Loners (they were probably going to name it 'Losers' except that DC already had a Vertigo title with that name) is a loose band of has-beens and never was-es, trying to stay one step of the addiction that is superheroing. of course, they fail immediately. let's wait till some die: that'll sober anyone up. or not. |
| THE LONERS #1 C.B. Cebulski, Karl Moline | |
 Superheroes Anonymous was not a good idea. | |
 | make no mistake here: these are two of my favorite comic book characters, regardless of how badly they've been written or treated. or rewritten. admittedly, i haven't followed much of the two since the WildStorm Universe sort of lost its appeal. or maybe i just need to reimmerse myself. so here we have two badasses squaring off (which is the whole point when they pitched the idea), but the whole premise seems so "... eh?". guess i'll have to continue reading to see if they really do some damage, and not just to each other. or to current and future readers. |
| GRIFTER/MIDNIGHTER #1 Chuck Dixon, Ryan Benjamin, Saleem Crawford | |
 foreplay! | |
 | so that Trident guy was actually Karate Kid from the 30th Centruy Legion of Super Heroes? the 'Seven Soldiers' is a future Justice League? and its a huge mystery that necessitates a crossover/team-up with the JSA? really? that dripping sound you just heard would be me, wetting in my pants, and wanting my own Legion Flight ring. especially after that closing panel shown below. did i mention i just wet my pants? |
| JUSTICE LEAGUE of AMERICA #8 Brad Meltzer, Shane Davis, Matt Banning | |
 now i can die in peace. | |
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