iHaul (Wk 17)

appropriated last week.

	the warring sides of the recently-concluded Civil War try to come to grips with the death of Captain America the same way: hit something. the Mighty Avengers put the beating on Tiger Shark, while the (former) New Avengers duke it among themselves in a secret poker game (guest starring Ben Grimm). i understand the need to tell these stories, i just don't feel comfortable with the cash register mentality behind it. who am i to complain, right? ("right!!!" says the peanut gallery) oh wait, i have one - grieving or not, Peter Parker is a science nerd - he knows what an L.M.D. is.
Fallen Son: Avengers Jeph, Loeb, Ed McGuiness
"I. AM. NOT. TOPHER GRACE."

	gathering myself after i wet my pants when the JLA/JSA teamed up, i followed Bats, Geo-Force, Sandman and the loony Starman - who may be from the 30th Century, and who has teammates scattered in this timeline - and watched them go up against Dr. Destiny and the nth riot at Arkham Asylum. Geoff Johns steps up to the plate - witness his dead-on Batman and the latter's interaction with everyone else. not like i expected less from Johns - i've only begun to read him, but so far its been a blast. and what else is? oh yeah, the life-size replicas of the whole Legion of Superheroes in Superman's Fortress of Solitude. Lightning Lad? Ultra Boy? Timber Wolf? Wildfire? holy crap. my childhood just flashed before my eyes. and i just wet my pants. again.
Justice Society of America #5 Geoff Johns, Fernando Pasarin
"And that's for being campy for 3 years!"

	before we go into this whole Ultron-overrides-Tony Stark thing, let me just point out one thing: the Mole Man is always the first test for newly-formed, non-mutant superhero teams. and he always loses. so, back to Ultron. this issue ... well, a few flashbacks, Carol's trial by fire as a leader ("ummm ... Tony?"), and Ares acting stupid (Herc used to do the same, so does this mean Gods act arrogant all the time? no wonder mankind is effed). this seems to be an ensemble comedy piece by Bendis (only Plastic Man is missing ... opps, wrong company), if not for the terrifying things an Ultron can do. and Frank Cho can keep drawing this title until infinity. spasibo, babyyyyyyyyyy!
Mighty Avengers #2 Brian Michael Bendis, Frank Cho
WWCD? throw his shield of course. and then run away.

	so Hippolyta has been resurrected? how did she die in the first place? sorry, i haven't been reading WW prior to Infinite Crisis and the Dodson run (yum). or perhaps i've been staring too much at something else. anyway, we're 3 issues deep in the Jodi Picoult era, and should we be surprised that it deals with the Amazon revolution (check the next book below)? this book had scheduling problems and a somewhat jagged flow (thanks a lot, Allan Heinberg). i guess to keep the fans interested, we need a huge ass fight and a crossover. yes, by all means, entertain us! sino ang pasimuno ng Amazon power?? Hip-Hip-Hip, Hippolyta!
Wonder Woman #8 Jodi Picoult, Terry Dodson, Rachel Dodson
a birthmark? you mean Wonder Woman isn't ... perfect?! noooo!

	what else would empowered women do in their free time? why, kick male ass, of course! and what better place to do this than in the one place that's a symbol of macho male domination - Washington, D.C., complete with its own phallic symbol. Destroy!!!!!!!!!!! the Circe-controlled Amazons wreak havoc on the nation's capital (how does this thing tie in with the current JLA/JSA storyline?). actually, what i'm more concerned about is how they are going to put the national monuments back together. good thing i already visited most of them before these girls went wild.
Amazons Attack! #1 Will Pfeifer, Pete Woods
heh heh ... he said 'guns.'

	right here is a beautiful tale straight out of old school but set in modern times. the JSA Green Lantern, Alan Scott, is requested by the shady government organization called, umm, S.H.A.D.E. (led by umm, Father Time) to look up Johnny Mimic, a retired crook who can recreate crimes, and who might be able to solve a high-tech theft. Alan reluctantly breaks his agreement not to bother Johnny, and gets chided for it. turns out Father Time has his own agenda (don't they all) and Johnny makes a sacrifice play to save the day. and remind Alan Scott to never trust the government. hey, Tony Stark won't be too happy to hear that. wait ...
JSA Classified #25 Tony Bedard, Dennis Calero
Alan Scott having enough of Cogsworth telling the wrong time

	obviously, this issue reminds me of Preacher - man fights God, film at 11 - except for this one level: God is sore at man because he slept with the Virgin Mary. i know how that sounds, Catholics; put the pitchforks down. its just Robert Kirkman's irreverent take on a holy man taking on evil and having fun along the way. except remove the "holy" part. God confronts the incorrigible Pope Oswald in this issue and gives him the beating of his life - while Jesus and Santa Claus take down a demon by themselves. Battle Pope is always an acquired taste, but i've acquired it smoothly, no problem. hope my parish priest isn't reading this.
Battle Pope #13 Robert Kirkman, Tony Moore
it's God's fault we're all sickos and perverts

	watchudoin', Willis? as in Greg Willis, a.k.a. Gravity, the loser who died in that Beyond! mini-series, has been resurrected to be the new Quasar, protector of the Universe. reminds me of Penance, the artist formerly known as Speedball. ok, let's get this straight: the new FF (Sue and Reed get to honeymoon), looking for Gravity's body, run afoul of the Silver Surfer, who wants to feed cosmic being Epoch to his boss Galactus. of course, this doesn't sit well with Ben and T'Challa. turns out Epoch stole Gravity to resurrect him, but Surfer just wants to do his job. punches are thrown and i applaud the Black Panther taking on the Surfer. maybe when he comes back from his feigned retreat, he'll actually beat him.
Fantastic Four #545 Dwayne McDuffie, Paul Pelletier, Rick Magyar
The Protector of the Universe just got Americanized!

wait ... i can't resist finishing with this:

from Amazons Attack #1

uh, oh. the Men of the Square Table won't like that.