Thursday, May 5, 2011

we're not worthy

... because some other people have been chosen, not us.

er... how is Juggy, i mean "Kuurth" (is that like Steve Kurth, or Kurse as pronounced by a someone with a lisp?) going to see out of his helmet, if the holes are kind of nowhere near his eyes? that probably explains why the Juggernaut kept breaking things, because he can't see where the hell he's going!

oh, and he can't break anything metal now, can he?

Fraction should have just called Hulk "Nul, Breaker of Scripts and Programming Code" but i digress. why invent new villains when we can just co-opt Marvel's powerhouses and make them mind-controlled baddies eh? if you have a breaker of worlds, then why would you need the other six?

i guess the letter N made her new nickname much tougher-sounding rather than a T ("Skirt"). and i heard in the original script it was written as "Skirn, Breaker of Balls", but then Editorial got into the picture. anyhoo, Titania seems destined to break the male populace, but would that include her longtime daddy-o, Crusher Creel a.k.a. The Absorbing Douchebag? apparently Creel would also be having a hammer of his own, and he will be dubbed "Crul, Breaker of Chicks".

is that Attuma, or is that Attuma? and why is he breaking oil pipelines? shouldn't he be breaking fiber optic cables so as to disrupt Internet service globally, hence sending about half of its denizens into a frenzy because they couldn't Tweet or update their Facebook pages? i tell you, online deprivation is a huge FEAR!!! hah!!!

Fear Itself #2 unveils a bunch of "The All Father's" stooges, and indescribably puts the world under attack so quickly that the Avengers seem overwhelmed or unprepared. we all know the Asgardians just up and left (i think Odin's still hiding something - "The All Father" is his evil doppelganger?), but seem to think that the best option is literally a scorched Earth policy. the story still seems too fantastical at the moment (shades of Fraction's World Tree storyline over in Thor) and not too grounded like earlier Marvel events. i love Immonen's art (with longtime inking partner Wade Von Grawbadger) in NextWave, and here he's kind of switched up to serious mode. 5 issues to go, and hopefully, there's more meat and potatoes next ish.

you know who's going to save the day, right? right??

The Man Without Fear. Hal Jordan.

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