you hit like a girl! #15

Dinah Lance has been an important DC character for so long. the Black Canary role has been passed from her mother to her (they actually had to split the original character into two!), and the modern era has made Dinah a pillar of feminine ideals and strength.

Dinah has led the Justice League and the Birds of Prey, two of the best villain-stomping superteams in the DCU. i actually prefer her run in Birds of Prey, as they were like the Danger Girls with more brains and all of the sass and sexayness.

i mean, seriously, if you have less than two X chromosomes, you better watch your step around Dinah. especially if you've been previously married to her (the point being "previous" as it means you did something shitty and she divorced you and years later, you're still acting shitty).

Dinah would also make a great debt collector if this crimefighting thing didn't pan out (y'know, if there ever was peace on earth). below is what would happen to those who apply for those 0% loans but skipped town right after they got the money.


also, she could be a great dentist (at least when it comes to tooth extraction), providing cheap services to those who can't afford insurance (here's a big eff you to AIG).


but back to crimefighting. criminals would always be doing something stupid (that's why they are criminals; some are just stupider than others).

let's take for example, this bow-wielding, Wolverine-haired jackass named Merlyn, who dared kidnap Dinah's adopted daughter, to ultimately control the League of Assassins. that's a no-no.


if you're fighting with a bow and arrow, it probably makes sense not to go into hand to hand combat ...


... since its possible you can lose both your arms, and you'll be left with spitting at the enemy.


assuming you can get the spit out before getting kicked in the mouf.

ahh, archers. they never learn. why, Ollie Queen (a.k.a. Green Arrow) should know this, of all people, and he could've warned Merlyn of what could happen. but ... naaaaahhh. they kinda hate each other.

Ollie knows what could happen, because he's been on the receiving end many, many times.

he knows he's gonna get whipped and he still does it. i mean, we never did see much what happened in the past when he was still this philandering ladies' man. whooooh. who knows how many times these two broke up? (and what bones were broken)

Dinah still ends up marrying Ollie, but only because he likes the pain. i kid, i kid.

oh, yeah, and never ever tell her that she hits like a girl. or tell her to shut up. ever.


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Black Canary limited series (2007)