come get some

i'm officially declaring March 2007 to be Steve Rogers Month ... here he is after getting some. you can see the afterglow on his face.

Brad Pitt loves roleplaying.

in the 4-part "SuperPatriot" storyline in 2004 by Robert Kirkman, Cap, despondent after the events in Avengers Disassembled, runs into an old flame, former Serpent Society badgirl Diamondback. they waste little time getting into the sack. but Cap doesn't know that Rachel Leighton is working with his #1 pain-in-the-ass, The Red Skull!

not till 2007, Johann.

the Serpent Society guns for Diamondback, and they are both captured. Cap opens a 12-pack of whupass on the snakes, and Diamondback feels like its 1999 - she changes her mind about killing Cap. which means the Skull isn't gonna like that decision.

just one of the thousand cases of domestic abuse in America

the Skull kills Diamondback, then turns his ire on his real target, Cap. he cheated because he procured some kind of hyped-up armor from a S.H.I.E.L.D. traitor, and gives Cap a messy beating. well then, why did he need a girl to do his prep work? coward.


and since this is Marvel, Diamondback rises from the dead! and saves Steve's butt! and kicks the Red Skull's ass! and S.H.I.E.L.D. arrives just in time before Rachel chokes the life out of him (aawww, we could have prevented the 2007 Red Skull machinations from taking place! damn you, Nick Fury!)

so as it turns out ... Steve Rogers was bangin' a ROBOT!!!

"not approved for use?" hell, Cap already 'used' that one ...

so the real Diamondback shows up, and while Steve's being treated for his injuries, another ex shows up ...

THREESOME!!!!

thinking how awesome it was to bang a robot, Steve wants to see if doing the real thing was just as good (take that, Tony Stark!).


that's right, he said "get a room!" damn, he's not 'a man out of time' anymore.

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issues read: Captain America vol. 4, #29-32