hallows eve

hope your night will be haunted by a sexy Vampirella, instead of this modern horseman on wheels.



if you're guilty ... well, can't help ya there, bud.

cover of the week

G.I. Joe #0 by Robert Atkins & Chris Sotomayor


and my bet for a future winner ...

back on the saddle

just when i thought he'd be doing this space cop solo routine for a while ...

the Green Lanterns may have more character but that is a product of an advantage in years of quality writing. Nova has been truly fleshed out only in the last couple of years with Annihilation, and allowing him to grow without the Nova Corps.

thumbs up to DnA for great, great work.

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Nova #18

avengin' machine

hold it; how does Rhodey figure in the Avengers, exactly? not unless they start with the West Coasters. [ifilm]

checkmates

with Secret Invasion winding down, we look forward to next summer's crossover. this seems to be more along the lines of Annihilation, so am not sure what happens to the more-Earthbound heroes (a.k.a. Spidey).

as this poster suggests, it seems to boil down to a showdown between a revitalized Black Bolt and the Sh'iar emperor (and third Summers brother) Vulcan. this means the Inhumans rescue Black Bolt from the Skrulls, although will he still be their king, as his batshit crazy bro Maximus sits on the throne?

among other players, we have the Starjammers leading the resistance against Vulcan. The 'Jammers current leader is Havok, who took his dad's place after being killed by Vulcan/Gabriel. Alex is doubly pissed because he's no longer the youngest child, who always gets all the privileges.

there's also my favorite space cop Nova (sorry, Green Lanterns - his job is much harder because he's all alone policing the universes), who'll likely oppose Vulcan. i hope the Guardians of the Galaxy follow suit.

who said what?

coordination can be a bitch.

just ask Tom Breevort, Bill Rosemann, or Brian Michael Bendis.

so what really happens when ex-S.H.I.E.L.D. Director Nick Fury (preparing an underground secret strike force against the Skrull invasion for years now) and Thunderbolts head Norman Osborn (otherwise known as the psychotic Green Goblin and chief of America's super secret police) bump into each other during the final battle between Earth's heroes/villains and the Skrulls?

unless they repeated this scene a second time, with Osborn holding a different gun each time. anybody angling for a No-Prize? what, they don't give those out anymore??


yeah, Osborn's going to be the next major crossover villain after next summer's War of Kings.
-----
Secret Invasion #7, Thunderbolts #125

stick figure

how many Izzo's do you know? well, there's

IzzoHOVA - who's actually Jay-Z (or something)
Tom Izzo - basketball coach
Larry Izzo - football player

wait, we misspelled that. how many Izo's do you know? apparently none. except this guy.

now in the pages of Daredevil, an old blind martial artist has reappeared. dare we say who he reminds us of? no, not Terence Stamp!

"... and reassure me i don't look like Terrence Stamp."

so, in the end, will he be crucified and tortured to death as per Miike's film too? hahaha!

note: how many times do they have to destroy the Hand? after that last debacle with Wolverine while teaming up with Hydra, i don't see any distinction. cut it off and it will regrow. geez, they should make their union permanent (Hydrand?) and their mascot should be Wolverine!


i wonder what Frank Miller has to say about all this.
(probably nothing; he's busy thinking up all kinds of dirty dialogue for All Star Batman and Robin)
-----
Daredevil #112

overload

too many cooks spoil the broth. so we need an iron chef competition? Secret War! Civil War! Contest of Champions!

cover of the week

The Punisher #63 by Dave Johnson

down and out

what's this? i'm finally reading Final Crisis? just skimming through, and you know these types of events get a bit more exciting toward the end. anyway, i wanna see who else dies next. did i say "die"?

that's Darkseid's take on this series

speaking of dying, once Uatu gets a front seat in huge superhero battles, something big's about to happen. (where the fuck was he when Steve Rogers died?)

dude looks like a lady

would you do the Lady Sinister? even if you knew she "could be" Mister Sinister?



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X-Men: Legacy #217

star child

so who is Captain Marvel? i mean the Kree warrior Captain Mar-Vell. who has been dead for years now (cancer, natch). and who is alive again (and worshipped by the "Church of Hala"), because ... he has been resurrected as a Skrull sleeper cell. but he doesn't know it. or accept it. ah whatever.

but the biggest secret is ...



are you ready for this?





... his secret identity: Tom Cruise!!!!


now we have real life basis for aliens and Scientologists. hoooooooo-haaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

metal gear

here's a bunch of War Machine concept artwork.

let's see, for the plot of Iron Man 2, Tony slips into an alcoholic stupor, allowing Don Cheadle/James Rhodes to get into his own armor and beat up bad guys. Tony recovers and wants to be the one and only armored superhero around. of course, Rhodes refuses, and we get a steel-punch-a-roni until they unite to fight a common enemy.

and then Tones produces a handy remote and turns off the War Machine armor forever, trapping Rhodes inside.

"a-hahahahahaha! think you can outshine me? you're just a military grunt!"

'born on my side

it gives me some relief to have Spidey beat the crap out of Norman Osborn, formerly dead psycho, currently live psycho in charge of the American SS, the Thunderbolts (let's say he's a nasty version of Michael Chertoff, DHS). its been so annoying - his whole resurrection, his rise up to prominence, and even with this Brand New Day storyline where he's a lot more powerful and deadlier to the Marvel U than he ever was.

"hey! hey! easy on the ears! my HMO plan doesn't cover that!"

of course, it doesn't end there. it never does; its always back to square one until they cross paths again. what else do they want? have Osborn mount a coup d'etat and rule the US? hyeaahhhh right.

can he?


oh shit.

-----
Amazing Spider-Man #573

ripofficers

who's ripping who, in the current "resident cyborg" arena, in terms of looks?

DC's Cyborg (who's actually one):


or Marvel's War Machine (in the pages of Iron Man) - who's now almost one after being severely injured in WWHulk.




[door smashed open]

well, you're all trying-hard copycats!! i am still, the one, the only cyborg that matters!

War Machine: Deathlok, you look like Morbius. what the fuck happened to your nose?

Deathlok: Shut up about the nose! Do we need to settle this matter like pussies or like m- cyborgs?

Cyborg: Uh excuse me, we need to know who we're fighting. Cyborgs or not, we are still gentlemen, are we not?

Deathlok: Pussies.

War Machine: He's got a point. You especially, we never know who's inside that body. Luther Manning? Michael Collins? It could be freakin' Britney Spears for all we know.

Deathlok: mmm ... Britney Spears. Shut up! That fat bitch.

Cyborg: Who're you calling fat? Did you see her new video?

War Machine: Yeah! I got a dedicated media player inside my armor.

Cyborg: Me too! Hi-Def?

War Machine: 1080p. I could almost touch those -

Deathlok: Shut up! You're sorry excuses for cyborgs! We should be above these pedestrian musings.

War Machine: Britneeeeeeeyyyy ...

Deathlok: Shut up or i'll fry your circuits.

Cyborg: Morbius Nose.

ka-zar is filipino!

well ... kinda. maybe he just knows some of the language. or a mangled version thereof.

here's a sequence in New Avengers #43. in the Savage Land, a bunch of superheroes show up to fight the combined Avengers, and we all know that the former are all Skrulls. the ersatz Captain America keeps insisting otherwise, but is fed a chockful of blowdarts courtesy of Ka-Zar and the natives.

Ka-Zar says "Matumba Salana" which to me sounds like "Matumba Ka Sana!" or "Matumba Ka Na!" which roughly translates to "why don't you fall down and stay DOWN, biatch!!!"



or this was just Bendis laughing at us, because Leinil Francis Yu whispered something in his ear.

wipe machine

T-How shocked nobody wants to install baby wipes! [Geeks of Doom]

push it

this is way too comicbook-y not to be a comic (yeah well am sure someone's coming out with the adaptation)



there's Jean Grey, Nate Grey, Siryn/Banshee, Emma Frost, Elixir and Lyla Miller characters right there.

cover of the week

i always like photorealistic covers.



The Darkness #6, by Dale Keown and Stjepan Sejic

a pryori

sheeesh.

they're rehashing things and i'm lapping it up.



based on logic and not observed facts, the Red Queen is the Goblin Queen. ah, whatever. can't wait for next month.

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Uncanny X-Men #503

the last boy scout ...

... is gone.

God bless Warren Ellis. Cyclops finally throws out an F-bomb in a charming conversation with Agent Brand. it took him 45 years but what the heck.



i'm sure its because of his current time with the classy-and-skanky White Queen, but we like Scotty a lot more these days than he was with Jean (oh, the blasphemy!!!) and living under Xavier's shadow.


the title of this post is also my favorite Bruce Willis movie. just to throw that out there.

-----
Astonishing X-Men #27

new Rhodes

Don Cheadle replaces Terrence Howard in Iron Man 2 [slashfilm.com]. maybe because they vetoed Howard's demand to have automated babywipe dispenser in the War Machine armor?

cover of the week

No Hero #1 by Juan Jose Ryp

the family that stays together ...

... gets out of trouble together.

which will happen next month!



did i mention this was my cliffhanger of the week?

Colbert 08

the only ones that can beat Stephen Colbert for a Marvel White House presidency is Steve Rogers and none ... and Steve Rogers is dead.[Wired Blog]



make your votes count, geeks!!!

magnetic strip

what's his problem? didn't Charley teach him to share? [smbc-comics.com]

X-aminations

a couple of upcoming X-Men storylines coming up are Original Sin and Worlds Apart.

in Original Sin, we finally learn the secret between Wolverine, his son Daken, and Professor X!


verdict: Professor X is Logan's daddy!!!!

well, that's what the tabloids would say ...


over in Worlds Apart, Storm has to make a life-changing decision when she has to choose between rescuing her husband the Black Panther or rescuing her longtime X-friends.


verdict: a trial separation looms on the horizon as Ororo can't resist going back to her teammates which creates a rift between her and her husband (and Wakandan subjects).

hell, her husband's as rich as heck. plus doesn't he have a contingency for all situations?

we want a pre-nup. we want a pre-nup, yeah.

express yourself ...

... courtesy of Cable and Deadpool.



i think 'pool is the hippest of all Marvel characters. even the Young Avengers and Runaways look up to Wade Wilson (or whatever his real name is).




we should all start screaming "oath!! oath!!" in the upcoming PC-fetishized future.

-----
Deadpool #2
Cable #75

face two

cliffhanger of the week!



Two Face "hires" Nightwing ... to save his female lawyer friend ... then goes out to kill her anyway ... then gets mad when Nightwing can't protect her ...

what? why? what?

-----
Nightwing #149

cover of the week

make that plural!


Orson Randall and the Death Queen of California one-shot, by Kaare Andrews



Vixen: Return of the Lion #1 by Joshua Middleton (Halle Berry alert!)

---update---
thanks to M1ll5 for the Cafu correction.