spies like us

i've always loved Iron Fist, despite his codename being such. i can't imagine a superhero being named Metal Ears (solid?), or Wooden Foot. it sounds American Indian (although my Indian name would probably One-Whose-Blog-Sucks-A-Lot, or just plain Sucks A Lot).

enough of that. let me present the very first Power Man/Iron Fist issue i ever got to read (although i've had a few issues of their separate series during those years as a snot-nosed dirty urchin in the Third World).

"Paths and Angles"
Steven Grant/Greg Larocque/Janice Chiang/Christie Scheele

our two friends have been whoring themselves as Heroes for Hire, with the thought that us ordinary joes should have access to superheroes (for a fee, of course). the concept has been represented well in the '90s (waaay too fantastic) and into this decade (covering the periods during Civil War and World War Hulk). but back then in the flamboyant '80s, Luke and Danny used to walk around Times Square (pre-Giuliani cleanup) and trawling for situations exactly like these:

of course today, you know Iron Fist and Luke Cage deal with worldbreakers with a lot more firepower and rep than Frankie the Smalltime Druggie. needless to say, it only takes Fist two moves to take him down (will ya look at that kick!).

the nun who gets slashed says she doesn't need this crap being slashed in Times Square, she needs to meet with a priest-in-exile before his "enemies" catch up with him (is she referring to kin of the children he molested? juuuuuuuuuuust asking). needlessly to say again, our bleeding heart heroes volunteer for the job while she's taken to the hospital.

what our heroes don't know, is that there's a Sister Act underway.

Fist and Cage wait for the priest, but he mistakes them for trouble (i would too! two he-men enchanted with yellow clothing?) and dives into either the Hudson or the East River (its all muck to me). expect skin problems later. it turns out the priest doesn't seem to be a priest, just like the nun.

and who's the nun? why, no one. i'll let the pics tell the story.

so questions are raised: did she set up the slashing at Times Square, or was that just a timely coincidence? what if Fist and Cage collared the so-called "KGPriest"? (ok, laaaaame joke ... KGBeast is headed this way) now Cage wants something to salve his wounded black pride.

and the hunt is on! at this point, i want you to remember details, dear readers.


first, they stop to watch a movie. ok, not really.


several informers later, the KGPriest meets Cage's fist.

Cage and Fist need to find out who are Skarkov's contacts. tossing the room yields an old theater ticket stub and an invite to the "African Native Arts Museum". which could actually be this one in Queens. because the one in Manhattan doesn't seem like a fancy place. or would have characters like these:

Stoneface doesn't mince words and sics the spy attendees (including a now-freed Skarkov) on Cage. a brawl ensues, which is always the fun in a PM/IF comic.

question: if they took the ticket to the museum, how could Skarkov (secretly freed by the fake nun Vienna) show up in the same place with no problems? does that mean he never needed a ticket in the first place?

there's a funny sequence where Cage engages in a pissing contest with an elephant. and gets his ass handed to him.

Danny meanwhile. does what he does best - ironfisting.

Stoneface escapes, and our heroes are left with a partly-demolished museum. and if you were paying attention, you know why Vienna is here - she's been following them all along.

Vienna drops the hint that she's looking for an auction, and it seems like Luke and Danny are the only ones oblivious to the strings attached to their body parts.

if you were paying attention part 2: the theater ticket was for a theater closed for years - and that's were Stoneface is holding his auction for smuggled goods. Skarkov arrives, but Vienna (paid by his bosses) lets him and most of the spies go. Stoneface goes onstage without an audience, and our heroes, proud of themselves for figuring out the hideout, present themselves to administer a beating.

Stoneface thinks he could get away, but that usually is not the case.

so Vienna gets $25,000 from her US bosses, a relatively-same amount from Skarkov's bosses, another $10,000 from Stoneface ... well, well, who's the bandit in this story? meanwhile, Cage teaches Stoneface the fine art of an American smackdown.

and just when you think you're gonna get paid ...


if you were paying attention part 3: this one's a cold bitch.

Cage and Fist get presumably less than $2000, as a 'standard fee' for heroes for the masses would not be in that territory. they should be called hard luck heroes, and stories like these are a lot of fun - kinda along the lines of the great down-on-his-luck Peter Parker/Spiderman stories.

these two had a rebirth of sorts over the past few years, with Cage getting his due as a heavyweight Avenger and getting the girl (thank you, Brian Bendis), and Danny reclaiming his mantle as renaissance martial artist of the modern world in the hands of Mr. Matt Fraction.