cliffhanger of the week #5

yes, yes, apologies to my loyal 300 readers (3 real and 297 imaginary ones) - between my recent out-of-town trip involving beer and roping steers and last night's gaggle of Oscars after-parties, i barely had time to check my funnybooks. so this is me catching up:

#5 - All We Need Now is an Albino One

i don't know what the hell is going on. a murder mystery is turning out to be just an excuse for a big ass mindless slugfest. Rick Jones is a what? (aside from being useless) a blue-tinged brute called A-Bomb? and who's this Red one? damn, i know its the elections, but can you be more obvious? (okay, let's just act like the incumbent government and just blanket-accuse everyone of being Skrulls!)

Hulk #2 (Marvel)
Jeph Loeb/Ed McGuiness/David Baron/Jason Keith

#4 - The Leader Follows

word is, the Ultimate Universe is soon to come to an end, not just due to some cataclysmic event, but also to editorial hammers. so while the party lasts, let's get into more mindless slugfests. Bruce Banner has been 'cured' of his Hulk cells, but the (don't call him Lethal) Leader - in this world, also a big headed egoistic jerk - wants to claim those cells as is own. maybe this series will still get to its final issue (anybody remember Ultimate Wolverine vs Hulk?)

Ultimate Human #2 (Marvel)
Warren Ellis/Cary Nord/Dave Sharpe/Dave Stewart


#3 - Jumper!

after having to battle Venom-infected New Yorkers, the Mightyyyyyyyyyyy Avengers trace the culprit back to Latveria (otherwise known as Dr. Doom's Personal Dumping Ground). but wait - their satellite weapon was triggered by someone else (can you spell Skrulls?), only the good Doctor has no time to explain this to our annoyed heroes. in the course of another (mindless) slugfest, a time machine is triggered, sending Iron Man and Doom (echoing Iron Man #149-150) ... somewhere else where Pan Am still ruled the skies. Pan Am! talk about retro. Samuel Jackson might not approve.

Mighty Avengers #9 (Marvel)
Brian Michael Bendis/Mark Bagley/Danny Miki/Allen Martinez/Victor Olazaba/Marko Djurdjevic/Justin Ponsor/Dave Lanphear


#2 - Vanishing Act

continuity be damned. the moment Tony Stark became de facto leader of the USA, he's been in 24 different places every month and the only explanation for that is he's a Skrull. let's see them explain how he disappears in this nuke explosion to beat the Mandarin, while also being flung back in time over in Mighty Avengers. yeah, let's see you get out of that, Quesada. ("well, the events in so-and-so happened prior to the events in so-and-so ..."). props to Roberto De La Torre for drawing a gorgeous retro Iron Man armor.

Iron Man #26 (Marvel)
Daniel Knauf/Charlie Knauf/Roberto De La Torre/Dean White/Joe Caramagna/Gerald Parel


#1 - Smoking Pot

Spidey should be, that is. with an ending echoing the classic Spiderman #121-122, the Menace's Glider impales a human being and Spidey is left with another death he has to get payback for. oh, and the Jackpot he was led to believe isn't the Jackpot. hah. we all know its Mary Jane. sweet Mary Jane. roll me another one, man.

Amazing Spider-Man #551 (Marvel)
Marc Guggenheim/Salvador Larroca/Stephane Peru/Cory Petit


no, DC cliffhangers? really? what's going on? exactly.