new Shellhead trailer

at this rate, it will become a Filipino movie - you wouldn't need to watch the movie itself, because the trailer already does it for you.

Devil inside

"Decalogue"
v2, #71-75
Brian Michael Bendis/Alex Maleev/Dave Stewart/Cory Petit

first of all, this is strictly not a decalogue, because if it were, it would run through 10 issues, just like that interesting Polish TV series whose DVDs I have but haven't watched yet. but then again, Brian Michael Bendis' version of the decalogue is distilled to its core in 5 issues, and it makes sense. "I Am Your God" covers the first three commandments, "Honor Thy Parents" stands up on its own (fourth), "Thou Shall Not Lie" is number 8 (bearing false witness), "Thou Shall Not Steal" applies to anything (money, your friend's insanely hot girlfriend, your neighbor's Wi-Fi, Metallica's songs) and that covers four, and the last "Thou Shall Not Kill" is the fifth commandment.

Of course, Jesus distilled it further into two, but let's not compare Bendis with the Messiah. anyone would be out of His league (i meant Jesus and not Bendis).

Bendis posts the question, 'what do people in Hell's Kitchen do when they're not bar hopping, watching TV or committing crime'? well, Brian, i guess they're doing what normal Americans do - go to specific support groups and talk about their problems because they always seem to need a crutch, and they feel better afterwards, but i'm not sure if they solve anything. i can understand drug addicts or alcoholics or maybe even the Winona Ryders of the world, but with America's hypochondriac tendencies, its not far-fetched to think that there's a support group for every single thing they could think of (depression due to high mortgages, post-natal anxieties, terrorists anonymous etc.)

like this one started by a Father Bob Cumeo, about "how Daredevil's presence in Hell's Kitchen affects your life". eh?


seems like, the group has more members joining than expected. who the hell started this group again?

the common topic of discourse is the fact that Daredevil 'declared' himself the 'Kingpin' of the area. this was after beating up the (alleged) Kingpin of the area.

first up, the skanky ho (ok,ok, former skanky ho) defends him because he actually didn't say those words. she was at that bar that time, so she knows. in response to Father Bob's question on whether that event changed her life, we go down memory lane as she explains it did happen much later, but only after seeing Daredevil up close again, and in action.

former skanky ho is at the right place at the right time, hooking up with a gangsta wannabe, who tries to put in a deal with former DD punching bag Bullet. of course, DD puts kibosh to that scheme, making former skanky ho realize how low she'd sunk, and how badly she wants to be a new person. see, you don't need stinkin' support groups!!!

okay ... "I Am Your God" means ... I Am Your Kingpin. Change Your Life. got it.

in any discussion, there will always be a know-it-all jerk, who gets annoying every moment he opens his mouth. this support group is no exception. he takes umbrage against a man wearing a mask, saying that guy has issues.


to a degree, i agree with him about the need for support groups, but the dude keeps going on and on, and pretty soon, i almost feel the need to rip the pages showing him.


the fact that i didn't rip the pages allowed him to needle the other members. punching his face in is too good for him. i hate smugasses. except me.

which brings us to a new character, Archie (a redhead!). turns out he's the son of a jailed explosive expert, who once blew up the Nelson/Murdock law offices. and it also turns out his pop, Don, has one last unaccomplished task - something the despondent Archie promised to do during his last visit.

so Don the Bomb wants to blow up Foggy Nelson, so he can cement his rep in Ryker's Island, and hope to get out soon with lots of cachet when DD is finally taken in by the Feds. to this end, Archie gets the bomb from his dad's Russian contacts.

Archie has a wife and kid, and upon more contemplation, decides he doesn't need to gain his father's respect. because his dad used to beat him up when he was a kid himself. rather than blow up Matty's bestest martyr pal, Archie blows up the Russian gang instead.

okay ... "Honor Thy Parents" ... but not when they ask you to do something illegal. got it.

hey, his support group story is getting interesting, and if you weren't hooked since the first issue, you are seriously in need of a support group too.

the next member, Jennifer, tells the story of being the wife of a supervillain (and apparently a serial killer/rapist), which she didn't know until it hits the papers (because Daredevil's fists hit him), and keeps that knowledge at arm's length, being in denial of the facts.

she is asked if she hasn't been suspicious of her husband's behavior - she tries to butter up the group, because she isn't sure if they'll believe her if she tells them that she saw this:


... whispering in her husband's ear, no less.

the revelation prompts the next lady to slap her silly - because said lady was the last victim of Jennifer's husband the murderer. she wanted to get some kind of closure by joining the support group, to talk about Daredevil, but what she gets is the supposed killer is being driven by an evil imp.

flashback time: this jackass seemed to be possessed by a demonic entity and it takes all of Daredevil's courage and smarts to save this woman's life.

Victim Lady wants to pile on on something human, not excuse a criminal's deeds with the supernatural angle. but sometimes, some things can't be rationalized ...

... as another member of the group shows an illustration of what that demonic entity might have looked like. jaws drop faster than Apple's when they find out Steve Jobs suddenly joined Microsoft. Father Bob seems to have lost control of this tiger of a support group.

this lady, Lynn, had a daughter who drew the picture. "had", because said daughter killed herself after drawing that despicable illustration.

who is this Lynn, and what's her connection to one Murdock, Matthew? well, it turns out she used to work with Matt's current squeeze Milla in the Housing Commission. in fact, they're close that she stood as a witness to their wedding! paparazzi alert! start the bidding!

of course, initially she was thrilled to be a confidant to someone who's dating the (alleged) Daredevil. like everyone else, they believe that stuff in the papers. unless you're the Uatu the Watcher, you really can't make an informed, objective decision about these superheroes.

if Lynn thinks that's as far as she'll get to the insane Daredevil world, she has no idea. fate intervenes as Lynn's daughter is held hostage in a bank robbery, perpetrated by no less than the loser called Jester. Milla may be blind, but she sure can hear. and kindhearted soul that she is, she immediately gets her horny horned lover in tights to go to the rescue.

let me interject at this point - if they find in their hearts and guts to make another Daredevil movie, based on the Bendis run, with Milla Donovan - please, please, please cast Catherine Bell! (its all your fault, Maleev!)

c'mon - she's a lock!!!


oh, and don't even let Ben Affleck near the script, much less the set! no offense, but ... yeeech.

Lynn learns that life in the insane Daredevil world is harsh, and despite Daredevil saving her daughter's life, the same act has its toll. what do you know, the Jester seems to also have been possessed by something.

Lynn's daughter commits suicide that same night, but not before leaving her mother with that damned picture.

lest we forget our mysterious attention-seeking jackass, he laughs at Father Bob's helplessness in answering their questions, and rambles about knowing a lot about ancient religions, dark powers, and the coolness of being a ninja like Daredevil is.


which is, of course, where this was all leading to in the first place ...



now even i had to go back to issue #71 to check how the hell i missed that %&#@%#^!!

(see first pic at the beginning of this post)

so, what have you got to say for yourself, Matt?


you don't say.

at this point, i'm not sure where "Thou Shalt Not Steal" figures in.

we also learn that the jackass has a name, and its Lawrence. piecing together the events as described previously by the group members, Daredevil finds himself in the midst of civilians in a church ... and one of them may be the missing link to the puzzle.

so, excluding the mother and son team who left when tensions ran high earlier, we have (clockwise, from left) Father Bob the MC, Lynn the mother who lost her goth child, the Artist Formerly Known as A Skanky Ho, Victim Lady Who Doesn't Believe in the Supernatural, another old man, Jennifer The Self-Denying Mrs of a Bad Man, Archie the Honest Son, and the Jackass Currently Known as Lawrence.

Matt lets the second anonymous old man go (i wonder if he'll pop up again somewhere down the road?), leaving all the principals with issues now having face time with the (alleged) Kingpin of Hell's Kitchen.

Matt has lied and lied before, to protect his identity, despite the costs. and here, right here in church, he bites the bullet and lies again. if he's not a ninja, i'm not Barack Obama. (wait ... i'm so not.)

but wait ... since he's been sending mixed signals and the truths and lies have all been stirred together so thick, you don't know which is which anymore, Matt proceeds to lay all the events like a good lawyer, and in the process, readily admits to this select few, that speculation has always been correct - he is Daredevil.

that battle with the hopped-up Jester proved to him that there was something percolating beyond his hypersenses, and Matt took a beating on that one.


the Jester was always a multi-trick pony but with the same MO. this time, he's not a joke.


Lynn's daughter was unfortunate enough to witness something out of a Japanese horror film, the kind that Americans like to ape ... Jester pukes out that demonic imp, scarring her for the last 24 hours of her life. it was probably more than she bargained for when she chose to go through a gothic phase in her life.


i don't know about you, but i'm not touching that tiyanak, this anak ni Janice!


now just who is this Lawrence, and what is his deal? let's have our attorney explain:


mikkyo? "secret teachings"? i thought it was the Japanese name for Uncle Walt's star rodent.

we all watch with glee as Lawrence's decision to out Matt backfires on him.


petulant to the end, he practically dares Daredevil to fight him.

Matt won't beat anyone up in a church (hey, remember Bullseye?) - because he'd rather lie. heeheehee.

i think we now know where that tiyanak is hiding, don't we?


well, actually, if i were in Lawrence's shoes, i would wait till the bugger crawled out, and then shoot it. dumbass.


so, the "Kingpin" (allegedly) of Hell's Kitchen returns to the group and gives them their closure. a Devil giving them a blessing of peace - in a church. wow.

and that's it? you're leaving them with your secret ID? you're actually hoping not one of them goes running to the tabloids, or worse, selling the information to the highest criminal bidder? well, i guess everyone's so sick of guessing anyway.

well, that doesn't stop the FBI from trailing him (oh where are you, Agent Harold Driver? you are missed). and that doesn't stop Matt from playing games with them, either.

$%#@ing ninjas, indeed.

iron by fan

an Iron Man fan film is finding its way across the Web. its semi-awesome, but there seems to be a high HTV (hero to villain) ratio, that it looks like the Mighty Avengers instead. given some more budget, they could probably make a real short instead of just a trailer.

cliffhanger of the week #5

yes, yes, apologies to my loyal 300 readers (3 real and 297 imaginary ones) - between my recent out-of-town trip involving beer and roping steers and last night's gaggle of Oscars after-parties, i barely had time to check my funnybooks. so this is me catching up:

#5 - All We Need Now is an Albino One

i don't know what the hell is going on. a murder mystery is turning out to be just an excuse for a big ass mindless slugfest. Rick Jones is a what? (aside from being useless) a blue-tinged brute called A-Bomb? and who's this Red one? damn, i know its the elections, but can you be more obvious? (okay, let's just act like the incumbent government and just blanket-accuse everyone of being Skrulls!)

Hulk #2 (Marvel)
Jeph Loeb/Ed McGuiness/David Baron/Jason Keith

#4 - The Leader Follows

word is, the Ultimate Universe is soon to come to an end, not just due to some cataclysmic event, but also to editorial hammers. so while the party lasts, let's get into more mindless slugfests. Bruce Banner has been 'cured' of his Hulk cells, but the (don't call him Lethal) Leader - in this world, also a big headed egoistic jerk - wants to claim those cells as is own. maybe this series will still get to its final issue (anybody remember Ultimate Wolverine vs Hulk?)

Ultimate Human #2 (Marvel)
Warren Ellis/Cary Nord/Dave Sharpe/Dave Stewart


#3 - Jumper!

after having to battle Venom-infected New Yorkers, the Mightyyyyyyyyyyy Avengers trace the culprit back to Latveria (otherwise known as Dr. Doom's Personal Dumping Ground). but wait - their satellite weapon was triggered by someone else (can you spell Skrulls?), only the good Doctor has no time to explain this to our annoyed heroes. in the course of another (mindless) slugfest, a time machine is triggered, sending Iron Man and Doom (echoing Iron Man #149-150) ... somewhere else where Pan Am still ruled the skies. Pan Am! talk about retro. Samuel Jackson might not approve.

Mighty Avengers #9 (Marvel)
Brian Michael Bendis/Mark Bagley/Danny Miki/Allen Martinez/Victor Olazaba/Marko Djurdjevic/Justin Ponsor/Dave Lanphear


#2 - Vanishing Act

continuity be damned. the moment Tony Stark became de facto leader of the USA, he's been in 24 different places every month and the only explanation for that is he's a Skrull. let's see them explain how he disappears in this nuke explosion to beat the Mandarin, while also being flung back in time over in Mighty Avengers. yeah, let's see you get out of that, Quesada. ("well, the events in so-and-so happened prior to the events in so-and-so ..."). props to Roberto De La Torre for drawing a gorgeous retro Iron Man armor.

Iron Man #26 (Marvel)
Daniel Knauf/Charlie Knauf/Roberto De La Torre/Dean White/Joe Caramagna/Gerald Parel


#1 - Smoking Pot

Spidey should be, that is. with an ending echoing the classic Spiderman #121-122, the Menace's Glider impales a human being and Spidey is left with another death he has to get payback for. oh, and the Jackpot he was led to believe isn't the Jackpot. hah. we all know its Mary Jane. sweet Mary Jane. roll me another one, man.

Amazing Spider-Man #551 (Marvel)
Marc Guggenheim/Salvador Larroca/Stephane Peru/Cory Petit


no, DC cliffhangers? really? what's going on? exactly.