digital tales of graphic narratives

dirty ol' butler

2011-10-31T17:40:00.001-04:00

whodathunk??

with the sheer power of the Batcomputer (ugh), its not impossible to conclude that Alfred has amassed a sizable porn image nest egg!

the other scary thought here is, is Batman smiling because he thinks Alfred is merely jesting, or he's privy to old man Pennyworth's habits and checks his database from time to time? (remember he can remote connect to his systems wherever he is)

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Batman: The Dark Knight #2

miles away

2011-08-04T13:25:00.000-04:00

this is my take on the whole New Ultimate Spider-Man brouhaha, and also intertwined with Midtown Comics' contest on getting your mug on an upcoming issue of the 616 Spidey.

antipodal proof by Prof. Aaron

2011-05-26T16:31:00.000-04:00

if you don't believe him, check this.

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Wolverine #9
story: A-
art: B+

stiff little things

2011-05-13T13:58:00.000-04:00

i have started a small collection of statues almost a year ago. its only been recently that i found the space where to put them, but even then it all seems temporary. when you live in a rented apartment, everything is temporary. i hope to have a better place to put them if life gives me the chance to get our own place. so far, my collection is dominated by the, ehem, DC Cover Girls (don't ask). i don't have the money to burn for $300 Iron Man statues, so i pick my spots. i also have to find the time to properly photograph them for showoff purposes. i really want to go crazy on Bowen busts but technically, i don't have one yet.

recently, i grabbed a couple of those 4-to-5 inch Marvel UK figurines over at the neighborhood Midtown Comics. i learned that these babies were full of lead and are not really for sale here in the US (officially). to get around that, they sell each figure with its companion informational magazine, so basically they are selling the publication along with the figurine. just don't have your kids handle them, and wash your hands when you're done playing them. oh well.the store had slim pickings, but i think i corralled the best of the bunch. here's Drax, which seems to be his recent badass incarnation in the Annihilation/Guardians of the Galaxy series, not that dumbo with the cape from the '90s. the Hulk isn't the only mean green lethal machine in pants.

in honor of the Thor movie, i grabbed his Korbinite blood brother, the one and only horse-faced Beta Ray Bill. this was slightly taller than the Drax figurine, and looked elegant enough for its size bracket. i wonder if he'll ever make it in the sequel though. even just a cameo would be awesome.now that i'm done taking shots and posting this, i think i need to go back to the store and grab a few more ... for $15 each i don't think you can't go wrong. again, just wash yo hands after holding them. if you don't wash your hands out of habit, your mama raised you wrong. Drax says so.

Wolverine and Magneto will never be friends

2011-05-05T19:21:00.000-04:00

adamantium-pulling and stabby-stabbing are not the easiest of faults to forgive.

just to remind you of the bigger picture here, you may be looking at the next member of the Uncanny X-Force.

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X-Force #9
story A-
art B

prom here to eternity

2011-05-05T16:45:00.009-04:00

Avengers Academy #13, where we have the Red Skull dancing with another long-lost daughter!

kidding aside, this is a sweet issue, as the new Avenger kids have their first prom, and chaperoned by Hank Pym and Tigra. how time flies! wasn't it just long ago that Hank was boinking Tigra? wait, that was Skrull-Hank. i mean, wasn't it long ago that young Tigra was hanging out in the WCA? actually that had no bearing whatsoever. other comments:

Speedball. DJ. "Take My Breath Away". awesome. (double awesome for Young MC. i hope it was "Bust A Move".)
the gym where the prom was held was probably a self-repairing one, because with at least three altercations occurring during the dance, the punch bowl seems to refill itself.
this is the only time Mettle (why did they design him to look like Johann Schmidt? why??) can boast of breaking Iron Man.
Justice - Firestar = me sad. me love Kurt Busiek Avengers run.
in a team, there should be a maximum of ONE character with "BALL" in his codename. Hardball and Speedball, duke it out in the corner.
there should be more interaction between Marvel characters ("Marvel Team Up", anyone?). example, Striker and Hellion could meet up and out-jackass each other.
did they design adult Reptil to look like Humberto Ramos? because uh, his name is Humberto? (i love me some Humberto Ramos!)
Katy Perry+prom = "Firework". what, no "Peacock"?? aw, c'mon!
finally, Real Hank + Tigra = sexytimes.
apropos to above, Jocasta may have something to say about that. and that word may be "Ultron".

story A-
art B+

we're not worthy

2011-05-05T13:45:00.000-04:00

... because some other people have been chosen, not us.

er... how is Juggy, i mean "Kuurth" (is that like Steve Kurth, or Kurse as pronounced by a someone with a lisp?) going to see out of his helmet, if the holes are kind of nowhere near his eyes? that probably explains why the Juggernaut kept breaking things, because he can't see where the hell he's going!

oh, and he can't break anything metal now, can he?

Fraction should have just called Hulk "Nul, Breaker of Scripts and Programming Code" but i digress. why invent new villains when we can just co-opt Marvel's powerhouses and make them mind-controlled baddies eh? if you have a breaker of worlds, then why would you need the other six?

i guess the letter N made her new nickname much tougher-sounding rather than a T ("Skirt"). and i heard in the original script it was written as "Skirn, Breaker of Balls", but then Editorial got into the picture. anyhoo, Titania seems destined to break the male populace, but would that include her longtime daddy-o, Crusher Creel a.k.a. The Absorbing Douchebag? apparently Creel would also be having a hammer of his own, and he will be dubbed "Crul, Breaker of Chicks".

is that Attuma, or is that Attuma? and why is he breaking oil pipelines? shouldn't he be breaking fiber optic cables so as to disrupt Internet service globally, hence sending about half of its denizens into a frenzy because they couldn't Tweet or update their Facebook pages? i tell you, online deprivation is a huge FEAR!!! hah!!!

Fear Itself #2 unveils a bunch of "The All Father's" stooges, and indescribably puts the world under attack so quickly that the Avengers seem overwhelmed or unprepared. we all know the Asgardians just up and left (i think Odin's still hiding something - "The All Father" is his evil doppelganger?), but seem to think that the best option is literally a scorched Earth policy. the story still seems too fantastical at the moment (shades of Fraction's World Tree storyline over in Thor) and not too grounded like earlier Marvel events. i love Immonen's art (with longtime inking partner Wade Von Grawbadger) in NextWave, and here he's kind of switched up to serious mode. 5 issues to go, and hopefully, there's more meat and potatoes next ish.

you know who's going to save the day, right? right??

The Man Without Fear. Hal Jordan.

illegal immigrant gives up citizenship, breaks Internet

2011-04-30T13:23:00.000-04:00

ah, the brouhaha that comics cause nowadays. the medium has gone a long way from merely sending conservatives into a frenzy because it allegedly poisons the minds of kids. oh, wait. we're still in that era, aren't we?

it has been awhile since Supes has made a blatantly political statement (hmm, we should probably count his "Walk Across America" campaign last summer). basically he's leaning closer to Batman's politics. not so much, but closer.next stop: Batman, Inc.

and what does Marvel have to say about this?

nahh, that's Glenn Beck masquerading as the Thing. we all know Benjie's a hippie and moved to France (let the surrendering jokes commence) during Marvel's Civil War.

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Action Comics #900, FF #2

Spidey and his Fantastic Friends

2011-04-29T13:41:00.001-04:00

FF #2 "Doom Nation"
Amazing Spider-Man #659 "Fantastic Voyage, Part 1 of 2"

and here i thought these two were linked story-wise; turns out its not. i totally enjoyed both anyway.

right after the drafting of now-accomplished nerd Spider-Man as Johnny's replacement, Jonathan Hickman surprised me by bringing Doom into the equation. well, not really because this was hinted back in earlier issues. i just thought he was going to join the Future Foundation as a tenuous member, a la Magneto in the current X-Men. maybe he still is, because he's not one to miss an opportunity to tout his intelligence (at least by the end of this issue). however, Reed should be more worried about Valeria (whom Doom named, in her revised origin), who seems to be getting or causing more trouble than Franklin when he was her age. she's probably too smart for her own good.

even as distracted as Reed can be, i don't think he would easily forget that was how Tony Stark came back to his proper senses in the recent Siege. oh well.

so, dumb-as-a-rock Doom ostensibly made a deal with Valeria to help him recover from his brain damage and be back to being the scumbag genius that he is, and they manage to do so, by copying some files from Doom ward Kristoff's own noggin. interestingly, Reed makes the moral if difficult decision to go along with it, even when given the chance to get rid of his longtime arch-enemy permanently. and what's the price Valeria demands? for Doom to defeat her dad. uhhh, what?

super-nerd Parker, also not a fan of Doom, at least is honest about cracking jokes regardless.

there's more to this than meets the eye, though. the next issue's preview show the return of the well-meaning yet blinded Reeds, and maybe that's what Doom needs (or Valeria wants Doom) to beat.

over in Spidey's own book, the foursome take a journey to an island they had visited early in their original incarnation, where Ben played Blackbeard the Pirate and get some gems back to a tiger-stroking Doom (heh) who had Sue as a hostage. anyway, some radioactive anomaly is emanating from this island and geeks just need to investigate radioactive anomalies.

funnily, with the attack-happy locals exercising their fear of strangers, its the FF's reputation that saves them (or is it the other way around). Dan Slott and Fred Van Lente continue their knack for snappy hilarious patter, which makes me wonder why they didn't get them to write Spider-Man a loooong time ago.

ending up fighting zombie pirates (eh?), the fun gets doubled as Benjie reprises his award-winning role, courtesy of Mr. Parker's quick thinking.

just like over in Avengers, we see that our heroes end up cleaning after old foes (think Spidey's rogues gallery ... his best baddies, minus the Goblin of course). with the promise of more ass-kicking, errr ... booty-kicking next issue, i can't wait!

FF story: A- art: A-
ASM story: A+ art: A

Avengers 12.1 (a quick read)

2011-04-27T21:14:00.000-04:00

oy! when did Hawkman join the Avengers???

a bookend to Brian Michael Bendis' relaunched Avengers run (because really, Twittergate notwithstanding, who knows what the man wants to do next? he's becoming a multimedia giant now), the Avengers find themselves cleaning up after old enemies, and running into an even older one that doesn't seem to know when its time is up.

is that War Machine or his cardboard cutout or Iron Man's hologram reflection?

the ballbuster pays a visit to our assembled heroes (i swear to God, this is the one thing they should have done a long time ago before Bendis, but it took them several long years to setup, what with the crossover stories they concocted up along the way - and it was all worth it, seeing everyone under the Avengers banner, even Banner). Jessica Drew, Agent of S.W.O.R.D., disappears during one of her alien-hunting jobs and now Agent Brand has to involve the whole team (just like she did with X-Men with Breakworld - twice). wah-wah-wah. and nobody informed Steve Rogers of her agency?? yeah, they were all busy. i'd be pissed too.

"and i am boinking her. also."

long story short, Jessica runs into an alien armor (it gave me hope that it would be a three-letter word - but it turned out to be six); however, the location is also where the sad-sack bunch of super-nerds, the Intelligencia (last seen being mopped on the floor in the pages of Hulk) are hiding. so what do a bunch of super-nerds do when they see a woman? why, undress her of course!!

i believe she did shave prior to going out on a mission.

Steve sends out selected personnel to find the missing Jessica. Iron Man would be there of course. and Thor. Beast. Wolverine (for tracking). and Space Ghost Penis, the Great Protector. Iron Man, in particular, trying his rein in his smugness after doing the noble thing of "wishing the Infinity Gems out of existence" (hah! tell that to Steve - oh, you did??), still fails miserably.

yes, Tony ... you are.

the Intelligencia tries to get info out of their naked lady prisoner, at the same time trying to figure out what that alien armor is all about. but before they can even reveal their plans to Jessica (yeah, Bendis - that was heeee-la-rious) ...

... our heroes burst in and save the day. Wolverine though, for all his posturing, doesn't even get to lay a claw on anyone. Best There Is, my ass.

can someone tell me where Thor put his cape?

so, all's well that ends well, right? no, not really, because all the poking around by D-list Iron Man villain Red Ghost results in the armor gaining sentience, and revealing itself to be ... Henry Pym's SON! (yeah, again.)

of course, that's a battle for the future. Iron Man himself said so. he knows! he's seen the future! (except Planet Hulk, Secret Invasion, Dark Reign, Siege ...)

what the hell happened to Hank's head? headshrinker!!

the Point One issues were aimed to be a nice jumping point for new readers, and they've succeeded largely to a degree. they even provide entertainment for us older fans, hence blog posts like these. if i have a complaint, its the frightening devolution of Bryan Hitch's art. he's known for ultra-detailed widescreen action splash pages, but in recent years, that's been a painful thing to see. to get his best work, it should not be under a tight deadline. oh dear.

whatever do you mean, Mr. Parker?

2011-04-22T14:15:00.001-04:00

oh, that a-one! probably one more reason why we love your T-Bolts run.

if there's something strange, up in space ...

2011-04-21T10:38:00.000-04:00

... who you gonna call?

BALLBUSTER!!!

sorry, Abigail Brand may be a ballbuster, but you need to call the X-Men. i just needed to make something rhyme.

after mostly ignoring Joss Whedon's later-than-never-yet-deliciously-good Astonishing X-Men run, the X-writers co-opt it well, what with the return of Kitty Pryde (thank you, Magneto), and now an angle of what happened in Breakworld post-arm-breaking by Colossus. maybe there will be a resolution to Kitty's permanent phasing too?

Kieron Gillen, whose brief Thor run i did enjoy immensely, is off to good start.

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Uncanny X-Men #535

DC hates beetles

2011-02-11T13:56:00.000-05:00

i guess this is the end of the road for the current Blue Beetle, who dies by the hand of Max Lord. again.

here's a thought: let's revive Ted Kord by the end of the year. and by 2012, have Max Lord kill him again.

of course, this could be a red herring. its too obvious, isn't it?

by the way, you mean one of the weaknesses of the Beetle armor is right on the forehead? geddouddaheah!
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Justice League: Generation Lost #19

why is Fantomex swinging from a web and hanging with the F3?

2011-02-09T17:09:00.001-05:00

because that's not Fantomex, idiot. that's your friendly neighbor Spider-Man (who went from zero groups to two majors - next up, X-Men and Guardians of the Galaxy). and Jonathan Hickman's about to wow us even more (like he hasn't already with S.H.I.E.L.D.)

gotta hand it to you, Arthur

2011-02-04T16:09:00.010-05:00

i still don't know where Brightest Day is headed, but just to keep our attention from meandering from the meandering series, they give us some (regurgitated) shock and awe. in 2028, some other villain will use telekinesis to rip off Aquaman's hand once again.

the Devil makes work for idle hands, while God cuts them off - wait, what?

Peter and Tony, sitting on a couch

2011-01-30T08:57:00.000-05:00

and with this, we say Amen to the Pandora's Box opened by Civil War (God bless its soul).

bring on Herbie! not.

2011-01-27T14:10:00.000-05:00

bye, Johnny. see you next year.

what does Superior really wanna grab?

2010-12-24T11:35:00.000-05:00

because, y'know, he's a hormonal teenager and all.

happy holidays, everyone!!

who just got as ugly as Russell Brand?

2010-12-17T16:50:00.000-05:00

this guy:

you and me both, Witchie

2010-12-13T09:27:00.001-05:00

even back then, she was already c-raaaazyyyyyy.

because Batman Inc would sue you, duh.

2010-11-10T11:48:00.000-05:00

"I was gonna say 'BatMite', dude!"

just in time for the elections!

2010-10-29T16:09:00.000-04:00

somewhere in Alaska, and in the Tea Party headquarters, heads just exploded.

brother grimm

2010-10-28T13:54:00.001-04:00

drive-by readings

Fantastic Four #584 (Marvel)
"Three Part Two: Congratulations, Mr. Grimm. You're Handsome Again!"
Jonathan Hickman
Steve Epting
Paul Mounts
Rus Wooton
Alan Davis/Mark Farmer/Javier Rodriguez (cover)

what we learned: this title has been gathering steam and now its clicking on all cylinders, with Jonathan Hickman bringing all the previously-introduced elements slowly to bear. Sue takes charge to be an ambasadress for the Atlantean tribes (Angelina Jolie!), and Reed may be in trouble with the Surfer. for the best part, he also finds a way to revive the 'can we make Ben Grimm human again' record and get away with it, with him and Johnny painting the town red (hey, Stan!), tangling with a retooled Yancy Street Gang (that was a hoot), and having a tender moment with Alicia (aaaawwwww).
oh shit moment: uh ... Galactus?
what's next: always expect the Fantastic. Hickman brings the wow every month. someone also draw up divorce papers for the Richards couple.

hey, me too!

how to treat your future father-in-law

2010-10-27T16:06:00.000-04:00

especially if its Sinestro (duh).

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Green Lantern Corps #53

hey, we want that pleasure too!

2010-10-20T22:36:00.000-04:00

ok, we're kidding. we love Foggy despite being a klutz. but don't deny it, you have some Beast in you occasionally.

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Daredevil #511

gotham gumshoe

2010-10-16T20:54:00.001-04:00

drive-by readings

Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne #5 (DC)
"Masquerade"
Grant Morrison
Ryan Sook
Mick Gray
Pere Perez
Jose Villarubia
Jared Fletcher
Travis Lanham
Andy Kubert/Ryan Sook (covers)

what we learned: Bruce reappears in late 1920s Gotham as an amnesiac and is hired to play a detective in a movie, or actually investigate the death of his own mother. turns out the lady who hired him is probably his real mother and its all a ploy to sacrifice the 'man-bat' (oh hey there you are again, Dr Hurt or should i say Thomas Wayne).elsewhere/when, Red Robin prepares the JLA for Batman's arrival, which should blow them all out of existence.
oh shit moment: what's really up with the Waynes?
what's next: Batman 1000000 (or something) is back!

you know he's gonna say that at some point.

blacker ops

2010-10-16T11:16:00.016-04:00

drive-by readings

Uncanny X-Force #1 (Marvel)
"The Apocalypse Solution, Chapter One"
Rick Remender
Jerome Opeña
Dean White
Cory Petit
Esad Ribic (cover)
Clayton Crain/Rob Liefeld/J. Scott Campbell/Marko Djurdjevic (variants)

what we learned: X-Force just won't die. and though the previous hype for this new incarnation came across as cheesy, Rick Remender's take is fresh and his choice of characters and characterizations are on the money. the new team follows the money trail to a resurrected Apocalypse, and Archangel himself has made the decision to clearly kill the S.O.B. its also refreshing to see someone use Deadpool for his talents as a coldblooded wisecracking skilled killer that he is, and not simply as the premiere wisecracking raconteur of the MU. this is clearly the best work of Jerome Opeña's burgeoning career.
oh shit moment: gone are the days of simply killing human footsoldiers of the anti-mutant forces. Remender ups the ante and puts our heroes in real harm's way. i don't expect this original team to be still intact at the end (you could say the same thing about the past incarnations, but its probably the vibe of this new team).
what's next: the best time to kill Apocalypse is while he's a child.

no one explains how Warren lies down on his back.

mostly a good J Arthur

2010-10-15T22:56:00.008-04:00

drive-by readings

Knight and Squire #1 (DC)
"For Six, Part One"
Paul Cornell
Jimmy Broxton
Guy Major
Steve Wands
Yanick Paquette/Michel Lacombe/Nathan Fairbairn (cover)
Billy Tucci/Hi-Fi (variant cover)

what we learned: England's Batman and Robin get their own book, and who better to chronicle their adventures but British writer Paul Cornell (i totally miss Captain Britain and MI:13). in this first issue, Knight and Squire whoop it up in their version of The Bar With No Name, only this bar is a DMZ for both heroes and villains (and quite a few arcane characters only a British writer can imagine in his sleep). even Wildcat stops by for a pint or two. everything's hunky dory until somebody starts a fire.
oh shit moment: you could hear a pin drop before everything breaks loose. and artist Jimmy Broxton loves himself too much.
what's next: more Britannia!

ggg
they lied! they still sacrifice virgins!

elevation

2010-10-15T21:33:00.003-04:00

drive-by readings

Superior #1 (Marvel/Icon)
"One Magic Wish"
Mark Millar
Leinil Francis Yu
Gerry Alanguilan
Dave McCaig
Clayton Cowles

what we learned: a gentle nudge in the direction opposite of Kick-Ass and Nemesis, Mark Millar's new movie (ok, soon to be a movie, at this rate) courts the bleeding heart crowd with its protagonist an MS sufferer who's suddenly becomes endowed with superpowers by a ... talking monkey named Ormon.
oh shit moment: an extraterrestial talking monkey!
what's next: all will be explained in one month.

you'd be mad too if you're Superman with Magneto's costume

webbing up

2010-10-12T16:09:00.000-04:00

Electro? the Vulture? Kraven? what character will Rhys Ifans play?

seriously? i want the Sinister Six. with Alfred Molina back as Doc Ock!

highlights of the NYCC

2010-10-11T11:36:00.001-04:00

sure, sure, they're MY highlights. didn't get to move around much, except for hunting down signatures and taking the occasional picture along my routes. most of the time i was stuck in lines, as always. my feet hurt big time, lugging all those trades. the good thing about it is no book was left unsigned.

with that, let the reminiscing begin!

John Stewart wants a piece of you.

he shoulda just punched that Red Mist pretender beside him.

Spidey wants to score but can't. Story of his life.

with the news that Emma Stone has replaced Snaggletooth as MJ, that's good news for Spidey and us fans.

Seth Green being asked to leave the building. "Robot Chicken? what's that?"

my future kids will be enjoying this

the hardest working man in the biz and leader of the Pet Avengers, Chris Eliopoulos

an incident occurred where some guy ranted and cussed out while with his son. read the amusing details here.

former and current Marvel mutant artist Clayton Henry

"i keep telling you, Zatanna, keep our relationship on the down low!"

"Hal, i DO NOT have an action figure. DC screwed us!"

i thought dragons had claws, not paws.

a picture seven years in the making (Garth Ennis and me)

apparently, they're on again.

Greg Pak is always surprised by The Hulk's sales numbers.

did you see that guy's EARLOBE???

"we will be making an example of this man for those who don't play Arkham Asylum!"

Jedi beats Joker anytime.

that's a mashup of Dr. Strange and Brother Voodoo, with some Gov. Paterson thrown in.

kid, you're in the wrong booth.

living in your mom's basement has PAID OFF. BIG TIME.

Seth Rogen had to slim down to fit in this car.

"YOU! YOU NOT WATCH MY MOVIE! YOU DIE!"

that is an AWESOME Batman. not like this loser.

they're lucky there were no South Koreans in the building.

zombie-meister Arthur Suydam

zombie Headpool

the Mann that is Clay

S.H.I.E.L.D. cover artist Gerald Parel

Secret Six-er Nicola Scott

Thor's l'homme de l'heure Olivier Coipel

Mark Millar needs to be Superior

how come nobody watched ... The Watchmen?

that's Robert Horry and Ice T for you.

Michael Jackson's dad wants you to show him the money.

"oh, dear God, i hope i don't end up being mocked in someone's blog!"

i haven't even finished the current one and you have another?? (that's a DLC, you twit)

dancing blue somethings

Hugh Jackass

the big bad Jason Aaron, flanked by Ron Garney and Adam Kubert

Dan Slott: "so in Big Time, Peter Parker becom- hey, guys, guys!! eyes over to me!!"


"so, Mr. Lee, what do you mean i have to pay $400 to be up here with you?"

i should be accepting of this fact by now, but i don't know why i can't. so anyway, i get in line for the DnA signing, as the Aaron/Garney/Kubert/McNiven set winds down. then Breevort and Bendis walk by.

then before Bendis walks over to his next panel, i tell him, "Mr. Bendis, i just need to shake your hand every single year." and what's his reaction?

Nemesis' Steve McNiven: "yes, yes, i am going to earn big bucks with the movie adaptation."

there were a few anxious moments as Andy Lanning got held up by an R2D2 over at Artist Alley, which made the fans a little concerned.

then he shows up.

DnA! yaaaaaaaaaayyyy!!!

listen, Iceman, you don't get to be a douchebag with a tiny penis like that.

to be fair, the X-Men ensemble who came for the Marvel Costume contest was close to awesome, in terms of getting a lot of people to dress up and do it. but its also likely, they really do this even when not in conventions.

Professor X and his hoverchair (swivel chair from Staples+yellow cardboard)

i knew it! Peter's defection was premeditated!

venomous.

former FF/current Iron Man artist Salvador Larocca (2009 Eisner Award winner!)

Steve Epting, Alessandro Vitti, Clay Mann

The Nightly News and S.H.I.E.L.D. is brought to you by Jonathan Hickman

one little story about Hickman. i was in line, then i overhear the guy behind me say "yeah, i've been waiting for a long time to see Kirkman." i look at him and say "Kirkman, like The Walking Dead?". he goes "yeah!". i matter-of-factly say "Kirkman's over there at Image Comics. this is for Jonathan Hickman ... you know, S.H.I.E.L.D.?" he mutters about getting the two mixed up and ambles over to Image. another satisfied customer.

they never learn: before going to conventions for signings, at least know the people you want to see, you opportunistic sons of bitches.

you know the Doctor wants some of that boo-taayyy!

now that is a fetching Pixie

Gambit and the X-ternals! (yeah, you remember that)

Bishop pumping up some DMX with Forge documenting it

War Machine! what is he good for? absolutely nothing!

Kletus in da houuuusse!!

you won't believe how many "orgasm face" jokes this spawned

Jeph Loeb trying to apologize for Ultimatum

DC Cover Girls

the rumors are true: Mary Marvel has been corrupted!

proud to be Pinoy for Leinil Yu

the great Adam Hughes

Cobra has risen but no one likes it

if Dagger doesn't fill out the costume, then she's no Dagger.

its a shame about Ray

the legendary John Romita Sr.

not bad for a (former) Marvel Hunk o' the Month

Marvel's all-around nice (and frank) guy, Editor CB Cebulski

that was after some commotion with a Wolverine-costumed dad and his kid, and CB gladly handed him his card and told him to drop him a line so they can smooth things out.

the bulk of my books on Sunday were for Mark Waid - Kingdom Come HC, Empire, Superman: Birthright, JLA: Year One and some JLA single issues. Waid emphatically says JLA #18-19 (the Julian September case) is his favorite JLA work. well, whaddayaknow.

Mark's camp is astonished about claims that he is evil.

and then i realize just now that i didn't pull out Superman: Birthright from my bag, which i had Leinil sign earlier. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Batman playing Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions. wonders never cease.

Mexico's hardest working artist: Humberto Ramos

Gary Frank's Superman wants to punch someone

yaaarrrrrrrrr! the Black Pirate Batman

my name is Zsasz, and i am stabby!

a sorry looking DC brigade

even Storm Troopers cried blood when Lucas announced that 3D thing

ummm ... no. this is creepy on many levels.

and that craft means ... getting as much money from your fans and raping their childhood?

another one bites the dust

even Supergirl and Poison Ivy need cash

NYCC2010 had more people than ever, and that's kind of good and bad. with comics going mainstream because of movies, there's a wider audience that is a lot more cognizant of the characters. but whether the medium itself has gained a lot more respect and readers, that's subject to debate. i read comics since i was a kid and that opened the doors to vocabulary and language for me (aside from the fact that it was pure escapist joy). today, does anyone read anymore? why bother to read when you can watch the movie?

a big reason not to go again, also aside from rubbing elbows with know-it-all douchebags and clueless morons, would be avoiding subjecting your eyeballs to this:

OH, GOD. NO.

the only reasons i'll be coming back next year are (maybe) appearances by Kurt Busiek and George Perez (health permitting). otherwise ... i'll just be living vicariously through the interwebz.

good news, Dr. Druid fans!

2010-10-04T12:35:00.002-04:00

... your hero has now been validated!

MJ 2.0

2010-10-02T19:46:00.000-04:00

goodbye, Kiki Dunst! can't say i'll miss ya, snaggletooth!

so if they make this movie ...

2010-09-28T22:26:00.000-04:00

... they're only paying one actor?

hi, is this mic on?

2010-09-22T21:26:00.003-04:00

haven't been posting much lately as real life has taken over the time i spend poring over them funnybooks and trying to concoct lame jokes out of them (along with somewhat astute and oh-so-obvious observations). i haven't missed reading the weekly stuff, i just don't have the time to even do a drive-by reading (hey, i need to pay the bills and this blog is proudly unmonetized). anyway, i want to concentrate on a bigger project, in which this blog will be co-opted into.

also, here's something to look forward to in three weeks:

see you freaks and geeks at the Javitz (5th straight year, homies!!).

coming out to play

2010-09-16T11:27:00.004-04:00

drive-by readings

Shadowland: Power Man #2 (Marvel)
"War In the Neighborhood"
Fred Van Lente
Mahmud Asrar
Scott Hanna
Bruno Hang
Dave Sharpe

what we learned: now i get why the Simster was raving about this yesterday - only old school guys will probably get the joke. the new Power Man (Kid?) gets into a tussle with Danny and Luke (the original), and in the process draws attention from a bunch of gangs (well, really, just a representative) who's out to bag him for money. hilarity ensues.
oh shit moment: this kid can absorb Danny's chi? really? wait, shouldn't Danny be out like a light now? remember mind melds and that healing shit (when he first "died"; thanks a lot, Captain Power).
what's next: Nights-s-sh-sh-shade! (to the tune of "Shirt Tales")

uhhh .... she's ... Bejeweled?

i'll be there for you

2010-09-14T22:00:00.004-04:00

drive-by readings

Thor, The Mighty Avenger #4 (Marvel)
"Boys' Night Out"
Roger Langridge
Chris Samnee
Matthew Wilson
Rus Wooton
Samnee/Christina Strain (cover)

what we learned: with the arrival of the Warriors Three (always heartwarming), Thor gets a night out ... in Norway. he also makes friends with Captain Britain. after a fashion.
oh shit moment: rocketing from above, the pride of Britannia scatters the gods like leaves.
what's next: Thursday means Thor's Day. so there's gonna be a celebration?

there's a GPS sale at Best Buy, godlings ...

semi-kind of victory

2010-09-14T00:08:00.003-04:00

drive-by readings

Thor #614 (Marvel)
"The Fine Print Part 4"
Kieron Gillen
Doug Braithwaite
John Rauch
Andy Troy
June Chung
Joe Sabino
Mico Suayan/Laura Martin (cover)

what we learned: Loki's treachery is revealed! Thor realizes the breadth and width of his half-brother's machinations, and with Loki not in Hel's books, he'll have a devil of a time putting him down next time. well, no one's going to learn from this anyway. soon, they'll be back welcoming him with open arms and mugfuls of mead.
oh shit moment: Thor stabbing Kelda (relax, its because Loki put malware in her to break the Asgardians' morale and as an added bonus, assassinate Balder). also when Thor gets the Eir-Gram free and cuts down the Disir - that's mythic.
what's next: get ready for more action, 'cause here comes Matt Fraction!

sometimes, just sometimes, you still need violence against women.

bullets and motors

2010-09-13T11:57:00.005-04:00

drive-by readings

Punisher MAX: Hot Rods of Death one-shot (Marvel)
"Getting Mad"
Charlie Huston
Shawn Martinbrough
Felix Serrano
Cory Petit

what we learned: one-time Losers artist Shawn Martinbrough provides artwork for crime writer Huston's B-movie tale (all his inspirations on the final page) on corporate fat cats using thugs to do their dirty work. Frank Castle provides the leader figure needed to rally the community to fight back. once Huston's done with the dialogue, its all Martinbrough's game.
oh shit moment: its cliche, but a wire garrote for bikers? still awesome.
what's next: was Lady Gaga wearing Pike last night?

so Roxxon is the Red Right Hand!

loopy

2010-09-13T08:47:00.003-04:00

drive-by readings

Secret Six #25 (DC)
"The Reptile Brain, Part One: Blood Calls to Blood"
Gail Simone
Jim Calafiore
Jason Wright
Travis Lanham
Daniel Luvisi (cover)

what we learned: i don't think i did. after last issue's weird Wild West story - where they all die! - this time the split teams go their separate ways, one doing mercenary work and hired to conquer a land beyond time, while the other - with the grieving angry Catman forced back into the fold - is offered a deal to do the opposite.
oh shit moment: i'm not really a big fan of no-explanation exposition. so i go "oh shit" when am lost.
what's next: Secret Six vs Secret Six! i think this is some kind of a video game.

this is why wild animals jump their cages.

the mighty daken

2010-09-12T22:35:00.005-04:00

drive-by readings

Daken - Dark Wolverine #1 (Marvel)
"Empire Part 1"
Daniel Way/Marjorie Liu
Giuseppe Camuncoli
Onofrio Catacchio
Frank D'Armata
Cory Petit
Camuncoli/Marte Gracia (cover)
Gabrielle Dell'Otto/Marko Djurdjevic (variant covers)

what we learned: nothing much. we know Daken hates his dad Wolverine with a passion second to none, although is he going to make a move and simply kill him, when he's been bested in their last chickenfight and his ass was saved with that business with FrankenCastle. so if its his time, its his time to do what?
oh shit moment: he's friggin' doing Bruno in Milan, but with claws. and who's the leader of the Red Right Hand? ("Nick Cave!" someone yells)
what's next: there better be a great payoff with Liu jumping off Black Widow and rejoining Way to chronicle more of our androgynous anti-hero/villain, now that Logan's in hell.

you really should be wary of "free wine tastings".

over the edge

2010-09-12T15:02:00.006-04:00

drive-by readings

Daredevil #510 (Marvel)
Andy Diggle
Antony Johnston
Marco Checchetto
Matt Hollingsworth
Joe Caramagna
John Cassaday/Laura Martin (cover)

what we learned: the heroes are getting desperate on what to do with the worsening situation in Hell's Kitchen, and even the Kingpin shows up to goad them to whack Matt before its too late. Tarantula's conscience kicks in, but he's also too late, as White Tiger reveals her true colors, and Daredevil himself seems to be really out of it anyway. in a victory for women's rights, Dakota North knows her way around a SPAS-12 which is cool. in other news, Foggy Nelson is still useless and its a miracle for all of 46 years of Daredevil, he's still alive (faked deaths notwithstanding).
oh shit moment: its cliche, but when its Tarantula who's thrown off a building and smashing into a car below ...
what's next: The Beast is revealed! no, he's not Hank McCoy or that evil one from Age of Apocalypse.

"he say man who wear colorful costume to fight crime look stupid."

let the light shine in

2010-09-12T08:45:00.004-04:00

drive-by readings

New Avengers #4 (Marvel)
Brian Michael Bendis
Stuart Immonen
Wade Von Grawbadger
Laura Martin
Chris Eliopoulos

what we learned: the magic men can't hazard a guess as to who's been trying to stage another Inferno show in New York, where our other Avengers (oh, hi there, Jewel!) have their hands full swatting demons left and right. until the sky spits out Danny, and the first thing he does is ...
oh shit moment: ... give Dr. Strange an iron fist, minus the iron. hey, nice duds, Danny?
what's next: we've known of that thing for years, but who really owns the Eye of Agamotto? Agamotto, of course. duh.

i bet Strange never got sucker punched by Clea or the Night Nurse like that.

end task

2010-09-11T23:43:00.005-04:00

drive-by readings

Taskmaster #1 (Marvel)
"The Exquisite Palace"
Fred Van Lente
Jefte Palo
Jean Francois Beaulieu
Dave Lanphear

what we learned: on the premise that Taskmaster, that unparalleled trainer of every asskicking wannabe in the Marvel U, has gone over to the light side, every single group of bad guys (with matching branded gym bags and watches, natch!), including the ridiculous ones (the Inquisition. really.) are gunning for him, on orders of The Org (ooooh, scary!). of course, he wants to know why he's being set up. what do you really know about Taskmaster, except that he's a Crossbones-faced human version of the Super Adaptoid?
oh shit moment: who are these losers? (all those who make their first appearance this issue) ok, seriously, who does have some longevity? i'll pick ... the Trenchcoat Mafia ('cause there will always be FPS games, bitches!).
what's next: anti-hero takes waitress on the run from evil forces. sounds like a B-movie.

Militiamen? really? what's next? Tea Party Patriots? oh, wait ...

holding on and letting go

2010-09-11T21:11:00.005-04:00

drive-by readings

Daytripper #10 (DC/Vertigo)
"Chapter Ten: 76"
Fabio Moon
Gabriel Bá
Dave Stewart
Sean Konot

what we learned: i need to re-read this series from beginning to end to appreciate the larger picture (the standalone issues are already little gems), but for now, let me share the first part of the letter Brás' father leaves him, as he weighs in with his mortality.

Dear son,
You're holding this letter now because this is the most important day of your life.
You're about to have your first child.
That means the life you've built with such effort, that you've conquered, that you've earned, has finally reached the point that it no longer belongs to you.

that is something my own father might've said, if he were still alive to be on hand when i finally have my own child.

the whole Brás de Oliva Domingos in different stories may seem weird and trippy (the book is called Daytripper after all), but am sure it'll make sense to me eventually.
oh shit moment: probably the moment when these two gentlemen, Moon and Bá, made tears run down my cheek reading this book.
what's next: what do you do for an encore?

c'mon, haven't you heard? cigarettes won't kill you.

who's killing who

2010-09-11T16:27:00.006-04:00

drive-by readings

Shadowland: Blood On The Streets #2 (Marvel)
Antony Johnston
Wellinton Alves
Nelson Pereira
Frank Martin
Dave Sharpe
Francisco Mattina (cover)

what we learned: Paladin gets punk'd by the Shroud (gotta hand it to Pig Pen). Misty finds out that its not the Hand that killing mobsters, the Hand ninjas also tell her the same thing, and Paladin and Shroud are also two steps behind.
oh shit moment: not much sighting of Silver Sable and her fantastic treasure chest this issue. still not sure what her angle is in this story, but do i care? LOL
what's next: always the first question to ask in a murder mystery: who profits?

the "K" disappears twice in this book. that's a crime!

crushing blow

2010-09-11T13:38:00.008-04:00

drive-by readings

The Thanos Imperative #4 (Marvel)
Dan Abnett/Andy Lanning
Miguel Sepulveda
Jay David Ramos/Wil Quintana
Joe Caramagna
Aleksi Briclot (cover)

what we learned: the not-so-secret Six (Nova, Quasar, Gladiator, Silver Surfer, Ronan and Beta Ray Bill),attack the Cancerverse HQ and they get their licks in. however, Lord Mar-Vell (the fake) is more than a match for any of them. and in one of the quickest turnarounds in the Marvel U, Thanos reintegrates himself (awwwwww - stop whining! this is the Universe of Life!), much to Star-Lord's relief, but returns the favor to Drax.
oh shit moment: Lord Mar-Vell leaves a bomb. sneaky punk. oh yeah, and a version of the Vision gets ripped in half again. the Android Anti-Defamation League is picketing the Marvel offices.
what's next: what? a universe without a smart cranky Destroyer? perish the thought! pun intended!

cosmic deadpan trash talk. now there's a Marvel Studios movie.

purple reign

2010-09-11T10:44:00.007-04:00

drive-by readings

Green Lantern #57 (DC)
"What Happens in Vegas"
Geoff Johns
Doug Mahnke
Christian Alamy
Tom Nguyen
Keith Champagne
Randy Mayor
Gabe Eltaeb
Nick Napolitano
Mahnke/Hi-Fi (cover)
Ryan Sook/Fernando Pasarin/Joel Gomez/Mayor/Carrie Strachan (variant cover)

what we learned: after a brawl stretching from Minnesota to the Sin City, Star Sapphire of Sector 2814 (a.k.a. Carol Ferris) corrals "The Love Predator" (which is definitely different from Ah-Nuld's nemesis) and makes a stand about it, earning here the title of queen of the Star Sapphires, whose erstwhile queen conveniently decides to croak at that particular moment.
oh shit moment: Carol kisses the Predator (John Walsh and Chris Hansen just tore their hairpieces out) and Hal's jaw tenses. for one moment there, he was going to go Parallax again. or not.
what's next: next time you get arrested for stalking your ex-girlfriend or your crush, you can blame the Love Predator. no, really.

you don't have the proportions, Larfleeze.

joke's on them

2010-09-10T13:33:00.004-04:00

drive-by readings

Batman & Robin #14 (DC)
"Batman and Robin Must Die! Part 2: The Triumph of Death"
Grant Morrison
Frazer Irving
Pat Brosseau
Frank Quitely (cover)

what we learned: not one to be overshadowed or upstaged, the Joker wants to get back at the Black Glove/Thomas Wayne/Dr. Hurt/whatever the shit's calling himself these days. to this end, he has Batman and Robin (and the Commish Gordon) as chess pieces, and Gotham City and its residents as collateral damage. wheeeeeeeeee!
oh shit moment: Damian getting himself captured by the Joker. that'll work wonders with his confidence.
what's next: i want the current Dynamic Duo get out of this without the Bat family getting involved. ok, maybe Alfred.

after years of rejection, Miss Piggy finally snapped.

escape club

2010-09-10T10:35:00.005-04:00

drive-by readings

Batman #703 (DC)
"The Great Escape"
Fabian Nicieza
Cliff Richards
Jared Fletcher
Ian Hannin
Tony Daniel (cover)
Kevin Nowlan (variant cover)

what we learned: drawn by that '60s crooner (oops, no, its Richards, not Richard!), this prelude to the return of the original Bats has Damian being prepped for "would you like to know your crime crusading pop a little bit more"? while corralling a jewel thief, a nod back to very rich, if blurry, period in Batman lore.
oh shit moment: oh Vicki Vale, you are a woman scorned.
what's next: Bruce, come back already!

three guys, one cup.

on break

2010-09-04T14:15:00.003-04:00

goodbye, Hurricane Earl!

also, gimme a break before figuring out what to do with my template, as i just discovered its the same as one sentientforcefieldblogspot.com. sorry, TS.

london culling

2010-09-04T13:56:00.003-04:00

drive-by readings

Red Hood: The Lost Days #4 (DC)
"Higher Learning"
Judd Winick
Jeremy Haun
Brian Reber
Pat Brosseau
Billy Tucci (cover)

what we learned: London's Russian mob wants to get the heat off them by staging a bombing that would lay the blame on Arab terrorists. with Jason Todd learning from the bombmaker himself, he's in the best position to stop the carnage before it even begins.
oh shit moment: Talia notices that all his teachers end up conveniently dead (with reason). she also informs him that he's been replaced as the Boy Wonder.
what's next: did Jason ever want to reclaim the mantle of Robin?

its your fault - if you just disconnected that 1-800 number...

tempest in a kettle

2010-09-04T02:31:00.003-04:00

drive-by readings

Thor: For Asgard #1 (Marvel)
"Asgard Part One"
Robert Rodi
Simone Bianchi
Simone Peruzzi
Cory Petit

what we learned: in what seems to be an alternate reality (or a footnote in long immortal Asgardian history), Thor has been left in charge of Asgard after Balder's murder (instigated by Loki, who has since fled - sound familiar?) and finds himself presiding over territorial wars without, and petty bickering within. much worse ...
oh shit moment: ... he can't lift his goddamned hammer.
what's next: Rodi returns to familiar territory (after 2004's Loki) and is ably supported by some of Bianchi's best work. why does it look like Odin is just hanging around Asgard secretly? and why has Thor lost his mojo? (well, not in the bedroom, if you ask Sif)

"Dulcolax!! verily, i have need of Dulcolax, miscreants!!"

hail to the king

2010-09-03T23:03:00.000-04:00

drive-by readings

Marvel Universe vs The Punisher #3 (Marvel)
"Partner in Crime"
Jonathan Maberry
Goran Parlov
Lee Loughridge
Cory Petit

what we learned: Patient Zero, Spider-Man himself, makes a deal with Frank, to leave him alone and every uninfected human like him, as long Frank dispatches the "King of Death" that's taking out his tribe and recovers his mate (MJ who else?). leading a ragtag group of warriors including Deadpool, Frank learns the job is a bigger crap sandwich than he thought.
oh shit moment: four issues are not enough to deal with each and every death in the Marvel U. and with Frank doing scorched earth, this should be shock and awe at its finest.
what's next: what's the deal with the Kingpin?

uh oh ... so that's what Brand New Day means.

and justice for one

2010-09-03T16:47:00.004-04:00

drive-by readings

Scarlet #2 (Marvel/Icon)
Brian Michael Bendis
Alex Maleev
Chris Eliopoulos
Michael Oeming/David Mack (variant covers)

what we learned: now we get into the nitty-gritty. we're a fourth wall witness to how slowly Scarlet goes from victim to justice seeker (nice montage with the hair by Maleev there). Officer, now Detective Gary Dunes, has no idea what's coming. us readers do, but we're still blown away. weren't you?
oh shit moment: the run-up to Scarlet entrapping Det. Dunes and her subsequent choices, is some of the best crime noir sequences i've seen.
what's next: by the second issue, we are reminded of how good Bendis/Maleev were on their stellar Daredevil run. i just wish this thing didn't come out bi-monthly. fuck.

can you turn away? can you?

birdcage

2010-09-03T13:43:00.002-04:00

drive-by readings

Hawkeye & Mockingbird #4 (Marvel)
"Ghosts, Part 4: Unnatural Histories"
Jim McCann
David Lopez
Alvaro Lopez
Nathan Fairbairn
Cory Petit
Paul Renaud (cover)

what we learned: surviving Crossfire's attack, Clint and Bobbie hatch a plan to draw him and the new Ghost Rider to them. a night at the museum ensues and the couple lure their nemesis to the Nevada desert (thank God for that douchey Scientist Supreme!) to face the ghosts of their past.
oh shit moment: Hamilton Slade is back!
what's next: will Johnny Blaze and Danny Ketch show up too?

see, kids, you should still get an edu-kay-shun! temping at McDonald's ain't cutting it.

sizzler

2010-09-03T12:46:00.002-04:00

drive-by readings

The Boys #46 (Dynamite)
"Believe, Part Three"
Garth Ennis
Russ Braun
Tony Aviña
Simon Bowland
Darick Robertson (cover)

what we learned: finally: Butcher and Hughie let it all out, and i can empathize with Hughie for being scared of not being trusted anymore. Butcher breathes a sigh of relief, but there's still a big problem as the two are in love. also Mother's Milk flask is missing.
oh shit moment: two: Queen Maeve is a spy for the Boys (and didja see her pics!!) and Hughie watches Annie/Starlight's initiation into the Seven.
what's next: like Butcher says, you gotta be cruel to be kind. is this gonna break up Hughie and Annie?

due to the family nature (pfshhh) of this blog, that's all we can show you.

alone in the dark

2010-09-03T09:09:00.006-04:00

drive-by readings

Curse of the Mutants - X-Men: Smoke and Blood (one-shot) (Marvel)
Simon Spurrier
Gabriel Hernandez Walta
Dave Sharpe
Clayton Crain (cover)

what we learned: i love the adventures of the X-Science Team. its like watching Big Bang Theory for mutants, with Dr. Nemesis gleefully playing Sheldon. too bad Hank's not with them for now. anyhoo, their vampire specimen breaks out of their lab and traps them with it. as is with any superhero team worth their salt, a last-minute save thrillingly traps us in our seats. Kavita Rao is becoming a likable character in her own right, considering her mutation opposition origins.
oh shit moment: if vamps can learn to use psychic attacks, who knows what the else they got up their sleeves.
what's next: what happens when the X-Men meet Team Edward?

what she said.

come on down

2010-09-02T15:02:00.004-04:00

drive-by readings

Wolverine #1 (Marvel)
"Wolverine Goes to Hell, Part One"
"Last Stand of the Silver Samurai: Scorched Earth Chapter One"
Jason Aaron
Renato Guedes/Jason Latour
Jose Wilson Magalhaes
Matt Wilson/Rico Renzi
Cory Petit
Jae Lee/June Chung (cover)
Steve McNiven/Dexter Vines/Justin Ponsor/Marko Djurdjevic/Art Adams (variant covers)

what we learned: i mistook the hype for this new direction as Daken taking over Wolverine's body while Logan being sent to Hell. but that would've been a cooler premise: its one thing to be reconditioned by the Hand, its another to have switch souls and personalities between two mortal shells. what would the Avengers and X-Men do? kill him? but i digress. some mysterious party (called the Red Right Hand - 'allo, Nick Cave - purported to be the vengeful hand of God) wants Wolverine and his family/friends taken out, and some demon has taken over his body (taking on John Wraith for starters). next up: Logan's current galpal Melita, who's oddly rescued by Mystique. over in Japan, the RRH puts a hit on Kenuichio Harada, and it looks like he doesn't survive the experience.
oh shit moment: you know there's a demon in Wolverine, but that doesn't make it any easier.
what's next: who are these Red Right Handers? kin of people Logan killed over the century?

will.i.am was already goddamned sick of "My Humps".

Bruce Wayne is gonna sue

2010-09-02T12:43:00.003-04:00

... for swiping his interior designer, bitches!!!

by the way, is there a poor, destitute X-Man? if so, Utopia provides all the benefits and freebies in life, no? including premium health care (thank God for Elixir!!).

-----
Wolverine: Road to Hell one-shot

the death of Magneto

2010-09-02T12:39:00.003-04:00

well, apparently not. he's a good guy now. right, ~~Xorn~~ Joe Quesada?

-----
Wolverine: Road to Hell one-shot

still haven't found what they're looking for

2010-09-02T06:47:00.003-04:00

drive-by readings

Brightest Day #9 (DC)
"Lost and Found"
Geoff Johns/Peter Tomasi
Patrick Gleason/Ivan Reis/Joe Prado
Rebecca Buchman/Keith Champagne/Tom Nguyen
Peter Steigerwald
Rob Clark Jr.
David Finch (cover)
Reis/Hi-Fi (variant cover)

what we learned: ah, so the black dude with the eel tattoo is Black Manta's son. why did it only take this long for him to get up his butt and look for him? J'onn's search for the telepathic black hole lands him in Oliver Queen's enchanted forest and they needed to hightail it out of there before the forest ate them up.
oh shit moment: never saw Black Manta this cool and aggressive. but that costume is still funny.
what's next: message in a bottle, yeah.

Ollie didn't like his first session with The Mentalist.

shadowboxing

2010-09-01T17:57:00.007-04:00

drive-by readings

Shadowland #3 (Marvel)
Andy Diggle
Billy Tan
Victor Olazaba
Christina Strain
Guru eFX
Joe Caramagna
John Cassaday/Laura Martin (cover)
Tan/Olazaba/Guru eFX (variant cover)

what we learned: with the Ghost Rider sent by the Kingpin to rile things up in Shadowland, it basically turns a testy dialogue into an all-out punch-a-rama, broken up only by the guns of the now-unFrankencastled Punisher. Daredevil, miffed that his minions are not even worthy of battling the Pet Avengers, goes out to find his champion (hint: his name begins with a B and he's dead). Master Izo, the wiseass pint who started this shit in the first place, tells the heroes of the true power behind everything, because that dude right there is no longer Matt Murdock. well, let's see if Moon Knight can take him (oy, your woman's messed up).
oh shit moment: aside from Shang-Chi realizing he's not all that cracked up to be, it probably was when i realized who the hell Matt was digging up. nice revival there, Marvel. death never really means anything - they never try anymore.
what's next: Daredevil gets hornier. just to point out too, that because of scheduling issues, Shadowland #3 jumps in front of whatever you are reading about FrankenCastle, Shadowland: Moon Knight, and Shadowland: Daughters of the Shadow. hey, what are the odds that Bullseye is gonna be the next Man Without Fear?

Shang Chi never felt so embarrassed, not even during his first cancellation.

purplish haze

2010-09-01T15:39:00.002-04:00

drive-by readings

Scalped #40 (DC/Vertigo)
"Unwanted Part 2"
Jason Aaron
R.M. Guera
Giulia Brusco
Trish Mulvhill
Steve Wands
Jock (cover)

what we learned: Red Crow and Dash's dad Wade do the tango, but no shots are fired. bummer. Carol wrestles with her pregnancy and abortion, and her palpable fear and anxiety gets to you. also, Dash is either hallucinating or is in an actual community with a shaman and he's puking spiders and shit.
oh shit moment: ever ran around in the snow naked in the dead of night?
what's next: that Dash/Shunka rematch will have to wait.

it was sad when they kicked Kevin Costner out of the rez.

one more thing to pin on the Illuminati

2010-09-01T09:13:00.005-04:00

Hiro-Kala is coming.
(via the Daily POP - great summary by Gary Miller, as i will never be able to make heads or tails of the whole thing, much less put it down on paper)

if they didn't send Banner off-planet, they wouldn't have World War Hulk, Skaar, Fall of the Hulks, and now another potentially-destructive Hulk offspring. great job, Reed and Tony!

sometimes i feel like the Hulk

2010-09-01T08:44:00.003-04:00

actually, no ... i just hate the MTA. greedy, useless-in-an-emergency sons of bitches. for this, we pay you money???

am i supposed to be glad you're not the LIRR, which had century-old equipment blow out last week, stranding and messing up commuters? oh, wait ... you own the LIRR.

dark side of the moon

2010-08-31T20:56:00.003-04:00

drive-by readings

Shadowland: Moon Knight #1 (Marvel)
"Shadowknight"
Gregg Hurwitz
Bong Dazo
Jose Pimentel
Matt Milla/Chris Sotomayor
Joe Caramagna

what we learned: its too much to put in one issue, but anyway, Daredevil apparently "wants" Moon Knight (who's just minding his own business; its Daredevil's fault he didn't accept Avengers membership), so he puts into motion an alleged acolyte of Konshu to recruit another psycho to be the god's avatar. bad news for Jake/Steve/whoever he is this week, because he has to face this challenge but at the same time consider that Marlene is pregnant and they're engaged.
oh shit moment: did i just say he has to protect his back?
what's next: crazy versus crazy. i'll bet on crazier.

never get on Big Bird's bad side - Sesame Street will never be the same.

dark horses

2010-08-30T04:13:00.002-04:00

drive-by readings

The Darkness: Four Horsemen #1 (Top Cow)
David Hine
Jeff Wamester
Felix Serrano
Troy Peteri
Wamester/Arif Prianto (cover)
Jorge Molina (variant cover)

what we learned: Jackie Estacado is asked by old boss Lucio Franchetti to deal some payback for a biker gang who bilked them of some money and drugs ... way back in '75 (and they still look the same). yep, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
oh shit moment: i think these Horsemen are much scarier than Marvel's Apocalypse's version.
what's next: collision course with the Demon Riders. Jackie has a "preacher" in tow. and who's this Hope-like character?

Herbie goes demonic!

bullet day, i will giant you

2010-08-29T19:59:00.001-04:00

drive-by readings

Batman #702 (DC)
"Part Two: Batman's Last Case"
Grant Morrison
Tony Daniel
Ian Hannin
Travis Lanham

what we learned: the missing details of how Batman disappeared over Final Crisis/Batman R.I.P. and got stranded in time. the smartest man in the universe figures it all out as he gets Omega Sanction-ed. Darkseid makes it the trap for the ages and something you can't get out of, but Bats inadvertently creates a hole in it by killing Darkseid with his magic bullet.
oh shit moment: Scott Free, i think you should give up your title as the Universe's best escape artist.
what's next: do you know what my next cologne is? its Essence of Bullet.

Batman lost braincells on his trip backwards in time, he couldn't even spell his name.

you happy puppets

2010-08-29T09:04:00.005-04:00

drive-by readings

Deadpool Team-Up #890 (Marvel)
James Asmus
Micah Gunnell
Rob Stull
John Rauch
Jeff Eckleberry
Humberto Ramos/Edgar Delgado (cover)

what we learned: insurance salesman Machine Man (ahaha) stakes a claim to Deadpool for all the property damage he's caused through the years (ahahaha). however, same insurance company is currently held hostaged by disenfranchised customer Puppet Master, who has an axe to grind (or clay to mold) because of greedy corporate executives.
oh shit moment: Puppet Master ends up getting tossed outside the window, which eerily mirrors how the damn fat cats think about us common Joes.
what's next: hey, editor: several words that rhyme with Gorilla: Sarsaparilla, Pancho Villa, Umbrella.

yes, Mr. Masters, just like yours.

under the sea

2010-08-29T08:11:00.005-04:00

drive-by readings

Curse of the Mutants: Namor #1 (Marvel)
"Royal Blood: Part One"
Stuart Moore
Ariel Olivetti
Joe Caramagna
Jae Lee/June Chung (cover)
Joe Quesada/Danny Miki/Richard Isanove (variant cover)

what we learned: in order to combat the rise of the vampires, Atlantean royal douche and current X-Man Namor swims to the depths to find the Aqueos - the age old underwater vampires who may have the head of Dracula (which they need to revive the vampire king, and let him go apeshit on those who whacked him and took his throne). not an easy task, as his own regiment guarding the abandoned Atlantis was decimated, and his only allies at the moments are the Tridents, who look down upon him as nothing but an errand boy for the humans. also, its nice to see Jae Lee come back and do the covers.
oh shit moment: ever been surrounded by fish? how about vampire fish? or vampire mermen?
what's next: the Aqueos just passed a resolution to declare war against Namor and his allies. fish fight! fish fight!

for a few seconds there, Namor considered the woman's advances. you know he did.

time must be crazy

2010-08-28T11:51:00.001-04:00

drive-by readings

Avengers #4 (Marvel)
Brian Michael Bendis
John Romita Jr
Klaus Janson
Dean White
Cory Petit

what we learned: time is breaking down everywhere in the present (hello, Killraven. what, you don't remember me? am your dealer!) that even Thor is speechless, while in the future, the talky Tony Stark gets into philosophical debates with his team, leading to them all getting pwned by their kids. talk about payback. then we meet the organizers of this charade ... and no, its not just the Maestro-looking Hulk.
oh shit moment: Tony should probably change his last name to Montana, on the account of being "Scarfaced".
what's next: am confused now. can we have some payoff around here??

hey, at least its not Teen Tony, right? riiight??

the brave and the bald

2010-08-28T10:34:00.004-04:00

drive-by readings

Astonishing X-Men #35 (Marvel)
Warren Ellis
Phil Jimenez
Andy Lanning
Frank D'Armata
Joe Caramagna

what we learned: we finally meet Kaga, who has an axe to grind against beautiful and handsome mutants. i would too, if i weren't handsome.
oh shit moment: Cyclops almost becomes Wolverine but still shows his goody side. Wolverine is still Wolverine, and introduces his left fist to Kaga.
what's next: keep this creative team rolling, Joe Quesada. and keep the delays to a minimum please.

you're complaining?? i can't even get a hundred readers for this blog!

let's vault in

2010-08-27T23:16:00.002-04:00

drive-by readings

X-Men Legacy #239 (Marvel)
"Collision Part Two"
Mike Carey
Clay Mann
Jay Leisten
Brian Reber
Cory Petit
Leinil Francis Yu (cover)

what we learned: Luz or Luisa, the stray they picked up last issue and now defended against Sentinels in this one, is more trouble than they bargained for. and why do we say that? ah, as i mentioned last time, the inhabitants of the world (uh, "The Corridor". duh.) she came from bear a resemblance to - uh, hello, Children of the Vault. how you doin'?
oh shit moment: Rogue gives Magneto one big uppercut just to let him know that there is nothing (nothing! nothing!) between them.
what's next: rematch! only Rogue is left from the original team of X-Men they clashed with before.

HDTV? 3D? pfah. solid state light shows are the bomb!

out of the pan

2010-08-27T15:39:00.001-04:00

drive-by readings

Justice League: Generation Lost #8 (DC)
"Would It Be Okay With the Management If We Check Out Early"
Judd Winick
Aaron Lopresti
Matt Ryan
Sal Cipriano
Hi-Fi
Cliff Chiang (cover)
Ryan Sook/Joel Gomez/Fernando Pasarin/Randy Mayor/Carrie Strachan (variant cover)

what we learned: our JLWRML (Justice Leaguers Who Remember Max Lord) break out of Checkmate because they got caught and they can't find Max. the chemistry between them is extremely enjoyable and i hope they keep this team intact even after the future resolution of this Max Lord thing.
oh shit moment: if you can't find Max, Max will find you (isn't that from The Losers?).
what's next: for someone who doesn't want the world to remember him, he keeps pestering the JLI. what do you want, Max?

again: the most likable Russian since Ivan Drago. oh, wait, no, i meant Nikolai Luzhin.

buckheaded

2010-08-27T13:06:00.000-04:00

drive-by readings

Captain America #609 (Marvel)
"No Escape Part 4"
Ed Brubaker
Butch Guice
Rick Magyar/Andrew Hennessy
Paul Mounts
Joe Caramagna
Marko Djurdjevic (cover)

what we learned: Baron Zemo agitates Bucky easily and draws him into a trap, and uses Hauptmann to keep Steve, Sam and Natasha busy. naturally, Bucky is soon in chains and en route to Zemo island.
oh shit moment: how many times did Bucky get knocked out in the past six or seven issues? do we want this in our Captain America?
what's next: Bucky finally gets to die in the English channel. grab the popcorn.

Zemo missed out on shooting Cap so he had to make up for lost time.

ghostwalkin'

2010-08-27T06:29:00.001-04:00

drive-by readings

The Last Phantom #1 (Dynamite)
"Ghostwalk Chapter One: Phantom Living"
Scott Beatty
Eduardo Ferigato
Vinicius Andrade
Simon Bowland
Alex Ross (cover)
Joe Prado/Fabiano Nieves (variant cover)

what we learned: at last The Phantom gets reinvented, Dynamite-style, and gone are the light-hearted Sunday fun strips and Billy Zane. this time, Kitridge Walker (consider him the white T'Challa) steps firmly into his legacy as his family is massacred by greedy rivals, including his own friend, the appropriately named Peter Quisling (what, he never vetted the guy??).
oh shit moment: Peter Quisling?? how obvious can you get? seriously, when "Kit Walker" assumes the Phantom garb (only figuratively, because he's covered in either blood or warpaint), i think i wet my pants.
what's next: skullprints across faces. wait, make that across nuts.

Phantom versus Predators, who ya got??

walking on sunshine

2010-08-26T20:38:00.005-04:00

drive-by readings

Curse of the Mutants: Blade one-shot (Marvel)
"The Light at the End"
Duane Swierczynski
Tim Green
Nathan Fairbairn
Dave Sharpe
Dave Wilkins (cover)

what we learned: why is Blade in Frisco, cozying up to the X-Men? well, he learned he's not the only Daywalker around and his crew of vampire slayers folded faster than an origami championship ensemble. and current big evil kahuna Xarus let it slip that they like mutants. a-ha.
oh shit moment: did i mention that posse of Blade's which went down faster than a waterfall? the Skrull Kill Krew would last longer. or Team Jacob.
what's next: if they were going to remake the Blade movie (historically, Marvel's first big movie hit) for the new generation, who would you want to play the role? Nelsan Ellis? Jaden Smith? that kid in Everybody Hates Chris?

freaks and geeks has been renewed!

reflection

2010-08-24T22:35:00.002-04:00

drive-by readings

Wolverine: Weapon X #15 (Marvel)
"The End of the Beginning"
Jason Aaron
Davide Gianfelice
Dave McCaig
Cory Petit
Ron Garney/Morry Hollowell (cover)

what we learned: somebody has to write the obligatory Logan/Kurt reminiscing story, and that task falls on Jason Aaron, who does a good job. Kurt, through all their years as X-Men, has been carrying his heart on his sleeve, and even after he's passed on to the afterlife, finally gets through to Logan's hardcase exterior.
oh shit moment: you ever carry a piano up an impassable mountain on foot?
what's next: stories like these lose some of its luster when the character in question gets revived at some point. but then again, its Nightcrawler, and such an event which will then become proof of his faith (betcha somebody's writing that story right now).

yeah, and we will too ... in Essential X-Men!